astrofemme,
I understand the lonliness and it becomes so apparent when the weekends come around. As a couple, we were always so social and entertained friends for dinner quite frequently. I have missed this immensely.
I was fortunate to have retained many good girlfriends through my divorce, but they are mostly married and do things with other couples socially. It becomes very easy to just burrow in and not make the effort to be with other people in social situations. I occasionally make a call and get together with another single friend, but sometimes it just seems like too much work.
As far as making new acquaintances, do you belong to a church. Quite often they have singles groups, or womens groups that focus on many different interests, i.e., book clubs, cards groups, gourmet groups, bible study, golf, tennis, whatever. I think you are in the US--you can look for groups like Newcomers that offer many of the same kinds of things I just listed and I know our local group has much more than that. You might find it beneficial to find a divorce support group where you can find both men and women who are in a similar state of sadness over the loss of a relationship. I am in such a group right now and have found it beneficial. Those are quite often offered by churches and sometimes by local municipalities. If you have a sport you like to do, there are always groups you can join--golf, tennis, bowling, volleyball, biking. There are never enough volunteers for all the organizations needing them and this is a good way to make new friends and feel good doing it. There are civic organizations like the Rotary or Lions clubs. There are alumni groups if that is applicable.
The hard part is taking the first step and making the calls. The next step is showing up the first time alone and being afraid that you will not be welcomed. This is usually an unfounded fear and most people are very kind and willing to make you feel at home. Don't be discouraged if the first attempt doesn't work out. There are always other options to try.
I would recommend making a list of what you enjoy doing and the kind of friends you would like to make i.e., age, sex, marital status (if it matters), occupations, educational level, etc. Merge the two and see what might be available in your area.
I wish you well.
Brigid
