Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Hope, are you out there?

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Anonymous:
Hi, this is Star,
I understand what you guys are saying. We need to give ourself a break sometimes, actually more than sometimes. I sucked wind for so long while walking on eggshells with my xN husband, that I became unaccustomed to being real. We've allowed a gazillion acts of inapproprieteness, meanness, dimmissing, hurtfulness, you name it, from our N's, yet feel bad when we're not perfect. At least I catch myself doing that. So, hey, let's enjoy being human...and fallable.
Hope, How did your hearing go? Have a good Thanksgiving, all of you. My kitchen smells awesome...  The emoticon isn't working for me, but I'm smiling.

hope2003:
Star:

The hearing went o.k.  It is hard to know what she will decide.  It is somewhat unusual for a Judge to change their mind, but we showed her an "error of law" and it does happen.

The interesting part was that the Judge asked to speak to the lawyers privately after the hearing.  The Judge told the lawyers that she would not be putting my kids in an apartment, and that she thought that this was a case where a substantial deviation from the child support guidelines was in order.  She clearly didn't like the N's motion to have me vacate the house by December 31, give him all of the cars, the furniture, art, etc.  However, I have learned not to rely on anything until it is in writing.  I have been burned too many times.  Also, I don't know what she considers substantial.  To keep up my kids' "lifestyle" would require huge money. I am too embarrassed to say how much it costs to keep things going around here.   But, that is the law.  The kids are entitled to the life that they would have had if the marriage had stayed intact, and this is one of those rare situations when it can be done.

I hope everyone had a nice holiday.

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