Mum's birthday today....

[irishrose]

I've posted before under the name Serena (as a guest) but realised I'm registered as IrishRose.

Today's my Mum's 79th birthday.  She has not spoken to me since Christmas when she accused me of wanting to see her dead and get her money - I actually asked her for a £3,000 REPAYABLE loan, she is a millionaire, incidentally.  She told my siblings I couldn't wait to see her dead to inherit, she told them I was trying to 'kill' her with her 'ill health'.  She also lied and told them I had said I would lose my home if she didn't give me the money - again not true.  I shrugged it off at the time and told her I could get equity from my mortgage.

The truth of the matter is she is a rampant narcissist and has been all my (and her) life.  She was excrutiatingly cruel and negligent to me as a child (and adult). 

Out of compassion and decency, I have phoned her every few weeks and received nothing but sighs and nanosyllables.  I sent my sister 40 euros to put to her present and I had Interflora deliver 40 euros of flowers to her also.

Wow - how illuminating, I rang just now and she is happy, perky, healthy, going out for dinner and CHATTY!!!

I guess they love a bit of attention.................. 

I know I am a soft-hearted fool and she didn't raise me that way but I am proud of the fact that I overcame her and have the same sympathy for her as any old lady.  I will never get over her treatment of me as a child..........  any parents here?  Imagine being four years old and your mother won't utter a syllable to you for three weeks because you've been 'naughty'.... I could go on but you get the picture.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM - I'm so, so glad I'm not like you and for the people around me who DO love me.

[Moira]

Hi Irish Rose! First a comment on your name- my nickname is Roisin Dubh- Irish for black rose! I digress!! Anyway re; your decency and sympathy for your N mom- I relate. for years I felt sorry for my mother- although at a distance- ie on the other side of the country and i live in Canada! I stopped feeling sorry for her once I wrapped my mind around the concept she didn't have a conscience and never would. She chose her life. If I had met my mother socially and wasn't related to her, I would find her horrifying. She was very bright and had an excellent sense of humour- although it was black and at the expense of others. She lost any friends she ever had and my father was shunned socially as long as she was alive. Any contact al all- icl. well intentioned Happy Birthdays- only is one more opportunity for your mom to abuse you. This weekend is my recently ex N partner's birthday and today I had a moment of weakness. I wanted to send him a cake- he's in rehab. I was feeling sorry he had to spend his birthday alone. Then I got a wake up call from him- message saying" If you think you're going to see me on my birthday, guess again...if you show up I won't see you...I KNOW you'll send me a present and I'll return it without opening it...by the way I INVITED so and so to take ME out so don't worry, I will be having a good time without you". Great timing- I might have relapsed and caved without that little slap in the face- actually made me smile! Divorce shouldn't be reserved for a partner.

[write]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM - I'm so, so glad I'm not like you and for the people around me who DO love me.

you got it!

Well done, you're a step or two ahead of me, but I'm getting there too.