Vunil
OH, funny, I think intermittent posts make my post look a little insane. Which it might be, of course, but I was responding to mudpuppy. That's who "you" is in my post.
But since I'm here, Hi, Portia! Feel free to post on Alice Miller-- I don't always know what she means, either, and the discussion might be enlightening.
<big laugh!>
Vunil I felt instantly cheered reading you, thank you! And thanks for the ‘hi’ too. Happy to be hormonal and slightly weird today. Isn’t 43 too young for the start of the menopause? I just don’t remember feeling this odd in the past. I’m not looking forward to whatever happens as we get older. Hot flushes etc. Yeah, Alice, I started typing and thought I understood it as I typed, but I will post it anyway next week. I found there is a Forum run separately to her own site, but I’m not sure I want to step in there. It’s a sanctuary for experiences, not exactly a discussion forum.
Storm
Portia, I'll send you a PM...
Thanks Storm
, one coming back to you when I’m off here.
Mudpup, how are you? You okay with your own life right now? I haven’t been reading of late. All I can see here is something between you and Marta. What’s going on? Have I missed something? Is it better I keep my nose out of this? :?But most of all, are you okay with your real life stuff? Take care.
Hello Marta, good to meet you. I’ve read a couple of your posts but sorry, haven’t taken the time to read you properly. Is that dismissive? I hope not. It’s a time-thing for me. Anyway this caught me:
That she was abusing her own child (she called him the baby, not by his name, IT, when he was two or three.) I have often wished that I had, for the "baby's" sake.
Yes, it is abuse and I understand (-but we can’t change others and sometimes, for the sake of our selves, we have to choose our causes and actions and let some go, yes?-) and thanks for making me feel okay about the things I witness that cut through me. My neighbour calls her 17 year old son “the boy” in conversation to me. Maybe it’s a cultural thing though. I think it’s horrible. But he seems okay and whenever I can, I chat to him and make a real effort to relate to him as a person separate to his mother and valuable in his own right.
Dogbit
When I first started reading this thread, my shame came upon me in waves. Yes, I am stupid, obtuse, and so totally self absorbed that I don't recognize conflict when I read it. I was compelled in a few instances to go back and read threads to find what I had missed. More "shame" when I couldn't find it.
As far back as I can remember, all my parents (step-ones, grand-ones etc) argued. About me it seemed. I was a problem to everyone. But all this arguing supposedly about me, it hardly ever included me (of course not, children don’t have feelings or opinions etc……….roll eyes). So the ‘problem’ was half secret I guess. So these days I like conflict out in the open. I don’t feel bad though that I haven’t a clue what lies behind the conflict on this page. And I think there is conflict, and a lack of respect but I don’t know why.
I have another problem. I love to solve problems. Very masculine, or so I’ve been led to believe. Someone comes to me with a story, I keep looking for ways to solve their problem. When they just want validation maybe. Tricky.
Really, when people disagree, it forces me to think and I welcome it.
I don’t all the time because sometimes the disagreements aren’t about what’s written on the board, or the way you or I perceive what’s written, but are instead about people projecting, transferring or whatever else psych-labels there are for communication and perception. I stopped talking to someone ages ago because I’d hit a big nerve and they’d started on me as though I was their mother (it was a poster called T for troublemaker and if you see this T, hope you’ll come back and give me a good telling off). It was zero to do with me (not true, T had triggered something in me too, but it was unrelated to her stuff, my stuff was mine, hers was hers….). Anyway what the heck was I saying? Forgotten. New tack then.
hurtful, pompous, or denegrating. But, I've never seen anything here that was self-servingly harmful....hmmmm....maybe that's why I stayed married to that moron for so long...denial, denial, denial
If someone had been hurtful, pompous, or denigrating, what does that say about their thoughts and feelings? What’s eating them and why are they doing that, if indeed they are? And if someone perceives that this hurt and denigration are coming their way, does this give them an opportunity to examine their reactions? About the denial part above, are you saying that you
have seen something that is self-servingly harmful and you were incorrect before….? I saw something that I would class as self-servingly harmful here once. Someone trying to recruit for what I thought was a cult. Hmmm. Yep, harmful alright. I might have been wrong?
We’re all human and, it seems, pretty similar to each other. Except I’m a real pain the butt and I should Shut Up
no chance (someone anonymous here once said to me I was "taking voicelessness to the other extreme"!
what horse shit that was. But sometimes i really do annoy people and the best thing is.....when they tell me so. true. finding voices and using them, it's fantastic to see
)
Oh……H wants the PC and his dinner! Storm, I really want to reply …and I will. I need another PC….hasta leugo/manana
