Dear Miss Piggy, Plucky and Marta -
Sorry for not having replied until now... the last several weeks have been Hell for us both. The psych ward called and told us they could no longer hold her. It had been over 3 weeks that she was there. We had to really scramble.
Fortunately, the place we visited and the man who is an RN runs the first floor Geri-psych area was willing and able to get out to the pysch ward to screen my mother. He went right out on Monday and spoke with her and her "ditz" social worker... ( I still think she's an ass ). He called right back, knowing what the situation was, telling us yes, she can be admitted to the new place. We were relieved but still frought will anxieties and worries about how everything would turn out. She can still make that "pit" in my stomach ache, even from miles away.
I think we have spent the last two weeks dealing with; getting her clothes/toiletries, the hospital, the old assisted living, the new assisted living, the doctors, the pharamacy, the lawyer, the bank, writing letters, etc. The less and less I see of her physically, the more I have to deal with and take care of her problems.
She was transferred on last Thursday, mostly due to the hospital wanting to release her before the weekend. Coming in that way would mean all of the regular staff would be there and that way she would get the "attention" that she would need. There is different staff on over the weekend.
You know my husband is the direct contact, so he keeps his cell phone on at all times. No calls over the weekend, but that didn't help. My stomach was in knots the whole time, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Monday comes and BAM, they call him to say that she needs diapers. Funny there was no incontinence when she was in the ward. At least the nurse had the brains to take some from another person to use. He had to leave work, go to a store and drive down to drop them off. Thank Goodness it's not that far away. He called to tell me after the fact, so I wouldn't be too upset about him taking care of it.
Of course, she had her list, I need new clothes, I need new tops, ........... just like the cash situation in the airport. The nurse told my husband that she is fine and the clothes she has are perfect. Just another way to yank me/us around, and she hasn't even been there 4 days. He didn't see her physically, just stopped at the desk. They knew he was coming and were ready for him AND everyone there knows how we feel about her and not wanting any contact. I don't know if I will ever be ready for that. I can imagine all the vitriol that she is storing up to blast me in particular. After all, I'm her possession, not her daughter.
Now it's pack up all her things, furniture, possessions, (we just bought her a new couch for $1,000 what a waste!) and have to move everything to either storage or sell it. I don't care if I ever see the stuff again. More dealing with her leftovers.
I have been doing a purge in my home, getting rid of anything that she ever bought for me, with strings attached, of course. Am sending it auction or putting it in the local Red Cross box. Out with the old and in with the new! She always like to control with money and materials goods - "I'll take it out in trade" is what she would say when we would thank her. It seems like every piece connected with her has some negative memory or history.
Now that some of the dust has settled, I'll be able to monitor the board and add new information. I have my fingers crossed.
