personalityTESTS,BOOKS,ETC

[COSMIC SCHMOO]

SITE FOR EMOTIONAL STATE EVALUATION
BY WAY OF COLOR CHOICES
http://www.psycorr.com/Psich/lusherE.htm
..SUGGESTION... AT THE BOTTOM OF PAGE
DO ALL THE TESTS LISTED THERE

THE NPA STUFF IS INTRIGUING
THO ONE MIGHT WONDER BOUT SOME OF THE STUFF
THE DEVELOPER THEORIZES
NEVERTHELESS MANY INTRIGUING INSIGHTS
..GOOGLE FOR MORE
BUT HERE IS THE LINK FOR THE TEST
http://npatest.homestead.com/files/NPAtest.htm

[author of topic]

methinks it might be helpful knowing aspects of ones
own personality

my own preferred type
idiosyncratic uh genius
aka
idiot savant

good site for such matters and more
http://www.ptypes.com/
but said site methinks me seen
already listed elsewhere in these here forums

[idiosyncratic stuff site]

http://www.ptypes.com/idiosyncratic.html

[CeeMe]

Greetings,

I am a newbie on the board.  Just stumbled across it and am fascinated by what I've learned.  Immediately went and took the NPA test and discovered that I am without a doubt in my mind, NP with high S.  My husband has been telling me this for years.  I am also diagnosed bipolar.  This is the thing,  I recognize there is a problem, and at every turn I double my efforts to control this N tendency, but when I read about the genetic factors involved and how voicelessness contributes to N, it frightens me to think of the damage that may have already been done to my kids being raised by a bi-polar, N mother.  They are in their teens now.  Lately, I have been staying in my room and on the internet feeding my N with the excuse of staying out of their way.  I've got an internet friend who I think has already caught on to me and is slowly putting distance between us.  Self absorbption is an addiction for me and the internet feeds it as I search out all my illnesses and pursue all my fantasies with faceless intimates.  Meanwhile, my husband tolerates it and hopes that this will eventually work itself out of my system.  Okay, here comes the really scary part.  What actually got me to run N through Google and find this site was the recent flurry of media coverage of the serial killer Rader who during the sentencing phase of his trial was noted to have interjected N comments as the victims families talked about their loved ones.  Seems this guy recognized things about his victims that were common to him i.e "we graduated from the same HS"  With the actual murder as a simple aside.  Those listening to his interjections labeled him a N.  Well when I read that, I immediately thought.  Shit, I do that all the time.  Whenever someone is sharing, I find commonalities and share.  I always thought this was a good thing finding common ground, but I've come to realize that most people find this N and annoying.  Hence contact almost always ceases.  Can anyone relate to this...?

CeeMee

 

[COSMIC SCHMOO]

CEEME,

tho i think there is a lot of points of interest with npa
i think it's underlying philosophy of life
goes way too sour too often...

i think one can find more postive ways to deal with one's personality type
thru say the way some people treat personality stuff thru enneagrams..

i dont know if i had suggested this site
http://www.homestead.com/npatheory/
here is an excerpt on np type
Narcissistic-perfectionist (NP) type:


          The attributes of the narcissistic-perfectionist (NP) type were described by Horney [11] in her exposition of the "perfectionist type".  In our view, this encompasses the classic "phlegmatic" type known to the ancients.  The main qualities of this type are: a tendency toward a sanguine complexion, industriousness, orderliness, an intense sense of duty, unaggressiveness, stubbornness, negativism, a tendency to ruminate, perfectionistic rather than unbridled self-adornment, an uncommonly seen gingival smile of recognition, and the capacity to exhibit the florid narcissistic rage.  In extreme forms this character appears as the obsessive-compulsive personality.

THE ABOVE WOULD MAKE THINK IT COULD BE A PARALLEL
ENNEAGRAM TYPE 1

IN BENIS NPA THEORY NP
I THINK IS EITHER
A DOMINANT TYPE
OR A WITHDRAWN TYPE
HERE IS A SITE ON THIS
http://europeanroyalty.homestead.com/p3.html

ON NP DOMINANT
NP     Narcissistic - perfectionist.  Stubborn, ruminating non-aggressive personality.  Obsessive-compulsive personality. Aloof, undemonstrative, owlish, pious personality.  Rigid disciplinarian.   Bovine personality.  "Nervous bird" personality.   "The quiet achiever".  "Lamb among the wolves".

ON NP WITHDRAWN
I SEE THERE 2 VARIATIONS
BUT IT SEEEMS NOT TO GO INTO DETAIL..
 N-P   -NP      Narcissistic-perfectionistic borderline.  Shy, or socially withdrawn, perfectionistic individual prone to narcissistic behavior and narcissistic rages.  Borderline autistic child or adult.  May have speech hesitancy.

A BOOK BY BENIS IS INTERESTING..

MY OWN BELIEF IS THAT
WE FREE OURSELF FROM FEAR BY FINDING THE DIVINE POWER OF LOVE
AND EXPRESSING IT FROM WITHIN
BY CONSIDERING THE NEEDS OF OTHERS BEFORE ONES OWN
BUT SOMETIMES OTHERS NEED REBUKE AS IN LUKE17:3
..i also believe reincarnation is part of the divine salvation plan
but it might soon work different after the tribulation

[Portia]

Hello CeeMee, would you like another response to your post? Here’s mine.

From what you’ve said, I’m not convinced you’re particularly unhealthily narcissistic, as I understand it.

I recognize there is a problem, and at every turn I double my efforts to control this N tendency

What do you recognise in yourself as a problem, and what do you do to control those problems as you see them? Can you give actual concrete examples?

it frightens me to think of the damage that may have already been done to my kids being raised by a bi-polar, N mother

What are you afraid of, what might the damage be? Are your kids unhappy, ill, self-destructive…..?

Whenever someone is sharing, I find commonalities and share.  I always thought this was a good thing finding common ground, but I've come to realize that most people find this N and annoying.  Hence contact almost always ceases.  Can anyone relate to this...?

Finding common ground is a good thing. Unless you attempt to dominate the conversation with your own experiences, stopping the other person talking.

Do you enjoy listening to other people, or do you only, solely want an audience?

Would you always bring any conversation back to something you can talk about at length?

Are you bored when the conversation isn’t about you and find you ‘switch off’?

Are you able to ask questions and find yourself genuinely interested in the answers?

What are your fantasies??..........

[Ceeme]

Thanks for your response Cosmic Schmoo.  I really appreciated this part:

MY OWN BELIEF IS THAT
WE FREE OURSELF FROM FEAR BY FINDING THE DIVINE POWER OF LOVE
AND EXPRESSING IT FROM WITHIN
BY CONSIDERING THE NEEDS OF OTHERS BEFORE ONES OWN
BUT SOMETIMES OTHERS NEED REBUKE AS IN LUKE17:3
..i also believe reincarnation is part of the divine salvation plan
but it might soon work different after the tribulation

It gives me hope.  At times, I am overcome with fear,(especially when reading psychology articles or childrearing literature).  Perhaps it is my own N, but I always think that the illness just described is me.  The fear immobilizes me for a moment and then I try to put it in perspective.   Always, it results in some breakthrough and change in my behavior for the better at least for a while.  This allays my fear.

Finally, it does bring me peace to know that I have the chance to do better.

[Ceeme]

Hello CeeMee, would you like another response to your post? Here’s mine.

Yes, I appreciate the response.

From what you’ve said, I’m not convinced you’re particularly unhealthily narcissistic, as I understand it.

I recognize there is a problem, and at every turn I double my efforts to control this N tendency

What do you recognise in yourself as a problem, and what do you do to control those problems as you see them? Can you give actual concrete examples?

Well the overall problem is that I have needs that arent' being met and I seem to be willing at times to risk too much in order to have them met.  I am not sure these needs are healthy and I am now thinking they may be signs of N. 

More specifically, the need to be loved and liked by someone, anyone other than my mother and immediate family; the need to be desired by someone other than my husband; the need to be seen, understood and accepted despite the fact that I am ideosyncratic to put it politely.

At times I indulge myself (like right now) and explore these needs regardless of whose ear I'm bending or heart I'm breaking.  Then there are times when I double up my efforts to recognize all these needs as selfish and N and force controls on myself.  i.e. getting off the internet, stop calling people who don't want to respond; stop drawing attention to my self by displaying my ideosyncracies.

it frightens me to think of the damage that may have already been done to my kids being raised by a bi-polar, N mother

What are you afraid of, what might the damage be? Are your kids unhappy, ill, self-destructive…..?

No, in fact, my kids are extremely well adjusted despite me.  But I know that the genetic factor is there and it scares me.  I've struggled to find my balance in life and they have witnessed it growing up.  I've gone from being  an overprotective and anxious mother to become the mother who tries to stay out of their way as they are now extremely independant and resent my interference.   

Whenever someone is sharing, I find commonalities and share.  I always thought this was a good thing finding common ground, but I've come to realize that most people find this N and annoying.  Hence contact almost always ceases.  Can anyone relate to this...?

Finding common ground is a good thing. Unless you attempt to dominate the conversation with your own experiences, stopping the other person talking.

Truth be told, I don't have many friends and the few that I have enjoy the ear that they have available in me.  I am a good listener.  I am interested in people.  My problem is controlling my reactions (giving unsolicited advise) to what they are telling me and remaining the good listener when I have an issue of my own to air.  I have trouble asking for air time unless I am very comfortable with the person in which case, I have been known to talk over another who doesn't stop to take a breath.  Talking is not what I am best at.  I have difficulty knowing when it is appropriate to interject and what is appropriate to interject with.  Recently I had a depressed acquaintance on the phone.  I called her.  She was telling me what was going on with her.  I was at a loss as to what to say.  I rambled on about having been in a similar situation and the conversation then quickly came to an end.  This happened no less than three times.  The last call was with her telling me she'd call later and that was the last I heard from her.  Certainly it could be her depression but I am more inclined to think that it had to do with what I said or didn't say over the phone.  Perhaps this is classic N.  I don't know.  This is all new to me and I am trying to determine if this label fits me.  I'm thinking it does. 


Do you enjoy listening to other people, or do you only, solely want an audience?
I love listeningg to other people.  I love learning about people different from myself and I love hearing from people like me.  It makes me feel more "Normal"

Would you always bring any conversation back to something you can talk about at length?
I have something to say about everything so I can usually follow the thread of the conversation without taking it off track.

Are you bored when the conversation isn’t about you and find you ‘switch off’?
No never.  I feel close to anyone who shares intimately about themselves.  I do get annoyed with people who talk about mindless stuff (in my estimation) just to take up air space.  i.e. detailed stories that go on for too long and I begin to wonder how they cannot be embarrassed to take up people's time with this monologue, particularly if it details events and not substantive stuff like thoughts and emotions.

Are you able to ask questions and find yourself genuinely interested in the answers?

Definitely

What are your fantasies??..........

All sexual these days     ..... which came up in the character traits for one of the N types.

So this long email is but another example of my N.  How many people spend this much time writing about themselves?

[cosmic schmoo]

Thanks for your response Cosmic Schmoo.  I really appreciated this part:

MY OWN BELIEF IS THAT
WE FREE OURSELF FROM FEAR BY FINDING THE DIVINE POWER OF LOVE
AND EXPRESSING IT FROM WITHIN
BY CONSIDERING THE NEEDS OF OTHERS BEFORE ONES OWN
BUT SOMETIMES OTHERS NEED REBUKE AS IN LUKE17:3
..i also believe reincarnation is part of the divine salvation plan
but it might soon work different after the tribulation

It gives me hope.  At times, I am overcome with fear,(especially when reading psychology articles or childrearing literature).  Perhaps it is my own N, but I always think that the illness just described is me.  The fear immobilizes me for a moment and then I try to put it in perspective.   Always, it results in some breakthrough and change in my behavior for the better at least for a while.  This allays my fear.

Finally, it does bring me peace to know that I have the chance to do better.

hi ceeme,
perhaps the way that above where it is perhaps your own n...
well i think a someone suggested above in this thread
taht u r not necessarily a narcissist

just coz you might fit the np type
namely strong elements of narcisstic perfectionist..
doesnt so much mean u r a narcissist..
my sense is rather that you might be game
for a narcissist type to turn your desire for perfection
against you by sensing your weak points
and pointing them out to kind of paralyze u
to make them feel powerful and not to deal with their own weakness...
i think my dad could have been an np
and my mom an n
and that mom did a pretty good job of creating self doubt
but not necessarily paralyzing his actions in some areas
such as that he became  a workalholic
so as to provide well for her....
but in terms of working on the deeper issues
of hers ..he became pretty effectively paralyzed in that regard
and ended up  playing her tune that it was mostly his fault
....her tune was probably still it was all his fault...

as i recall the npa test does not score for withdrawn types
just for noncompliannt and submissive...
there has to be an aggressive element
to be a noncompliant or a submissive type..

oh as i understand the 2 forum open for discussion posts
i think maybe u might use the other one for your kind of concerns..

be forewarned i am aka the terrrible gnostic or shorty there...
..my new names....
there...
.. i have a sense of a kind of clique type that predominates here
that does not cotton much to my style

[gnostic schmoo]

hi ceeme
i see u were active in a thread in other forum
where there was much talk about me as gnostic..

i wanted to add about if u be a n
that a trick of narcissist is to make the other feel as if they are the narcissist
... and the longer they stay in the trap
.. an increase of complexes and systems
can tend to hold them there
and even after they think they have broken free

in enneagram types type 9 is thought of unique by some
in that all the other 8 are in some systems what is called inequable temperaments
but type 9 is the only equable temperament
and they can have major paralysis of will issues
and have periods of shyness and avoidance...
and equable here in this system means have the best sense of all
the other types and can be suffer insight overload
that can develop into periods of will paralysis...

the types that also have will paralysis are types 4 and 5

in enneagram types
and their are assessment tests online...
google to your hearts content:)
i would speculate u could be a 9 with what is called a 1 wing
or a 9 with a 1

[XGNOSTIC?]

Gnostic!  Yay!  I understood both of your posts!  Not that your goal is to have me understand.  I am yay-ing for my own sake.

I guess you don't want to register?  If you do register, then folks can send you private messages and you can respond (or not).

Of course you don't need to put an X in front of your name.  Can't you just always pick the same name, even as a guest?

Thanks for sticking with us.

We don't care what label attaches to you;  we just want to communicate with you.  If you want.

hmmm i b trying to recall some things i have read of your earlier posts...
such detail recall is not my forte:(

but if u were the one who wanted me to note the positive comments u made
in my regard...
so maybe it be noted that i have

hmmm someone not u i think..liked to repeat
do i want help...
i leave that for others for not if they have a mind to
to comment on the kind of ploys and negative suggestive aspects
that might spin out from such a manner of suggestion...
mind u i do really think better insight to such ...
to quote martha
IS A GOOD THING

GASP AND HOW SOME JUMPED ON TO THE DEGREE OF SCHIZOPTYPAL
I PROBABLY AM ......
SHOULD I LOOK UP IDIOSYNCRATIC AND POST IT HERE
IF I HAVE NOT ALL READY...
MY GUIDE SAYS YES ..TONGUE IN CHEEK EMOTICON...
. a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual.
2. the physical constitution peculiar to an individual.
3. a peculiarity of the physical or the mental constitution, esp. susceptibility toward drugs, food, etc. Cf. allergy (def. 1). Also,idiocrasy

A KIND OF SIDE NOTE..
IN ENNEAGRAM TYPOLOGY THE MOST SENSTIVE TO INFO OVERLOAD
DUE TO BEING THE ONE EQUABLE TEMPERAMENT OF ALL 9
IS TYPE 9
MEANS THAT IT CAN PICK UP MORE INTENSELY ON THE ISSUES OF
ALL THE OTHER TYPES... AND THUS MORE LIKELY TO HAVE
INSIGHTS INTO ALL THE TYPES...
SO TAKE THAT ANY OF YOU INEQUABLE TYPES
1 2  3  4  5 6 7  OR 8

[SCHMOO OPPS]

SORRY SOME WAY IN GOIN BACK AND FORTH I THINK THE POST BEFORE THIS
I WAS CONFUSED WHAT WAS GOIN ON IN 2 THREADS AND THE PART ABOUT REGISTERING
WAS FOR ANOTHER FORUM
AND THREAD BUT THE INFO ON ENNEAGRAM STUFF STILL MIGHT BE HELPFUL TO CEEME

Gnostic!  Yay!  I understood both of your posts!  Not that your goal is to have me understand.  I am yay-ing for my own sake.

I guess you don't want to register?  If you do register, then folks can send you private messages and you can respond (or not).

Of course you don't need to put an X in front of your name.  Can't you just always pick the same name, even as a guest?

Thanks for sticking with us.

We don't care what label attaches to you;  we just want to communicate with you.  If you want.

hmmm i b trying to recall some things i have read of your earlier posts...
such detail recall is not my forte:(

but if u were the one who wanted me to note the positive comments u made
in my regard...
so maybe it be noted that i have

hmmm someone not u i think..liked to repeat
do i want help...
i leave that for others for not if they have a mind to
to comment on the kind of ploys and negative suggestive aspects
that might spin out from such a manner of suggestion...
mind u i do really think better insight to such ...
to quote martha
IS A GOOD THING

GASP AND HOW SOME JUMPED ON TO THE DEGREE OF SCHIZOPTYPAL
I PROBABLY AM ......
SHOULD I LOOK UP IDIOSYNCRATIC AND POST IT HERE
IF I HAVE NOT ALL READY...
MY GUIDE SAYS YES ..TONGUE IN CHEEK EMOTICON...
. a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual.
2. the physical constitution peculiar to an individual.
3. a peculiarity of the physical or the mental constitution, esp. susceptibility toward drugs, food, etc. Cf. allergy (def. 1). Also,idiocrasy

A KIND OF SIDE NOTE..
IN ENNEAGRAM TYPOLOGY THE MOST SENSTIVE TO INFO OVERLOAD
DUE TO BEING THE ONE EQUABLE TEMPERAMENT OF ALL 9
IS TYPE 9
MEANS THAT IT CAN PICK UP MORE INTENSELY ON THE ISSUES OF
ALL THE OTHER TYPES... AND THUS MORE LIKELY TO HAVE
INSIGHTS INTO ALL THE TYPES...
SO TAKE THAT ANY OF YOU INEQUABLE TYPES
1 2  3  4  5 6 7  OR 8