What's strange is that I didn't consider XH abusive when we were married. In 24 years, he did not raise his voice to me even one time. I was the one who would occasionally yell when I just couldn't take the passive aggressiveness anymore or cracked because of exhaustion. During the last few years of our marriage, though, I came to understand that abuse comes in different forms. Once I made the decision to divorce him, he became very verbally abusive. I think he accused me of every possible bad character trait in the book, while hiding his infidelities. Three years later, he's still calling me names. I hang up on him immediately when he starts, blocked his e-mails, and do my best to keep him out of the house.
Gail
