Hiya all
Through reading these boards and reading up about N's I'm sure my Dad is an N, however as there is no one else I can ask, I would really appreciate your take on this.
A bit of background is my Mum & Dad split when I was 3. According to him, all down to Mum, he couldn't do anything about it. Mum remarried when I was 5 to a lovely man and dad got access every other Saturday. He says my stepdad took mum off him (though how I've no idea as she didn't meet him until well over a year after they had split up!)
Main Past Issues:-
1. When him and his ex girlfriend got together, he completely ignored me and spent the whole day snogging his then new girlfriend on the sofa.
2. Huge arguments on the doorstep with my Mum and Stepdad. He just used to go on and on and on, until the only thing they could do was shut the door in his face.
3. He used to say, "In this house I'm God, you will do as I say"
4. He threw me out at 17 because his girlfriend left him and I only made him beans on toast for his tea when he asked me to get his tea for him.
Recent things:-
Absolutely no empathy whatsoever about why I asked my stepdad to walk me down the isle when me and my husband recently married. He just said, I'm your father, even though you may want it to be someone different, it's not. He accused me of lying by having my stepdad and Mum on the invites (my stepdad gave us money towards our wedding, he didn't offer a bean.... not that money was important and obviously didn't matter to us, just because my stepdad helped us out, we felt it was fair for his name to be on the invites). Unless I do what he wants, he's not happy and when I do do what he wants, he's still not happy.
He talks about himself all the time. I lost it a few months ago and told him to shut his mouth. His dog, his house, his boat.... If I go on his boat then I would have another interest. My stepdad is also medically retired. My real dad sat there and said how he should have a mobility car the same and be on maximum disability, although he's perfectly able, can walk quite easily and doesn't need any help! When I retaliated with I've seen the forms for maximum disability which ask can you have a bath, how far can you walk, can you make a meal, all of which he can do easily.... he then backtracked and said that he didn't say he deserved maximum disability and I'd misunderstood him.
He believes that God's given the world to the devil because he gets a bum deal. So any negative thing is used to back up this belief. Totally unable to see positive things.
He thinks he's better than anyone else, which is strange considering he doesn't work (bad back you know!), has a crappy house, car and boat. Loves the dog and controls the dog beyond belief. He will make him wait a good minute sitting for his food... won't take him off the lead, won't let anyone else look after him (the dog might run off and go looking for him!). Poor dog is such a mild mannered sad little thing.
His online community is Malcsworld and his usernames are generally Malcsworld and Supermalc.
This is obviously only a short part of everything, but I wondered if anyone could relate?
He's out of my life at the moment due to the wedding stuff, but I know at some point he will come back and expect everything to go back to the way it was before.
Any advice appreciated. xx