How to find a good counsellor?

[stayhuman]

Hey,
I'm new, so hello

I'm just wondering if anyone has any tips on how to find a good counsellor. I think I may need to see one but I have no idea where to start. I'm a student too so I don't have much money. Any help is appreciated greatly!

[Sela]

Hi Stayhuman and welcome:

I wonder if your school might have a counsellor available?  Also...you might try woman's shelters??  Have you asked your doctor for a list of what's available in your area?  Sometimes the doctor will know of low cost or free help?

The biggest thing is go with your gut.  If you don't feel comfortable find someone else.  The cost of sticking with a counsellor that you don't feel comfortable with will not be worth it and a good one is worth waaaaaay more than any dollar/pound/whatever amount.

Best of luck.

  Sela

[Chicken]

Hi Stayhuman and welcome!

Are you in US or UK?  If you are in the UK, you can go onto the following site:

http://www.bacp.co.uk/

Click on "find a therapist", then enter your post code and it will bring up all the different kinds of counsellors in your area.  My college counsellor wasn't very good.  I find the ones that work for government agencies and colleges etc not very good but that is just my experience...  so, because your post is titled "How to find a good counseller", i recommend this route...

You can read up on their qualifications and what they mean and what approach they take with the clients etc.  I found it a helpful site and found two very good counsellors on it.  I had to find the second counsellor as I moved to a new city. 

If you are in the US, I can't help you.  I lived there for many years but never had a counsellor there.

If you wish to get anything off your chest, there are a lot of folks here willing to lend an ear.   You will find nothing but support whatever it is you are going through or went through.

All the best
Selkie

[Mati]

Hi stayhuman

I saw a good counsellor once through my GP. Some of them are not great, you have to give it a try to find out if they are good. At least it does not cost anything. You get six sessions I think, then the counsellor asks for more if you need them. You could ask the tutor at your local college if they do counsellor training for guidance on finding a good one.

[stayhuman]

Hey,

Thanks for your help. Taking it all on board and will have a think.

[write]

remember- if after a couple of sessions it doesn't feel right- trust your instincts.
Most of us have had to see more than one counsellor or doctor to find a good fit.

What do you think you need from a counsellor? Are you looking for practical advice or for someone who is going to allow you to find your own path through your problems?

Anyway- I think you've made a good start by coming here, we are all people who have been in the same position and found our various ways to recovery.

[Marta]

First of all, there are a lot of bad counsellors out there, and a bad therapist can do more harm than good, so beware. Even after paying a lot of money, I have yet to find a good counsellor, so doing it on a budget may just be very difficult. As they say, you get what you pay for...If I decide to opt for therapy, I would not skimp on it.

My experience with school counsellors was that they were a bunch of faculty wives who were vested in defending the status quo and basically liked to blame everything on the stress at school. I agree with Selkie, those who work for the "establishment" have their own issues.

A viable alternative would be group therapy. It is cheaper and probably safer. I have never tried it myself, but am intrigued by it.

Best way to get a therapist would be through a mouth to mouth referral from a friend. If you are comfortable posting the name of the city where you lve, may be someone has a referral for you. Also if you have some special issues, like chemical depndency or N parents, then it is best to have a therapist who understands the issues. 

I agree taht if you are uncomfortable with your therapist after a couple of sessions, then don't stick around.

[write]

if someone seems to have a 'status quo' to maintain whether it's their school of thought or organisational occupational culture,
if it doesn't fit your needs, forget it.

The best counselling I have received was

non-judgemental
non-directional
open to my way of thinking/ doing things
very good at feedback

Saying that I have now outgrown the counsellors who got me this far, and will probably seek out a new person to work out my final basic problems with me.

And that in itself is progress: I don't feel responsible for my counsellors, and am able to move on.

And I think they would rejoice in that. in that they got me this far.

I'm going to think more about this, and maybe together we can develop a 'questionnaire' which will acquaint us with counsellors and help weed out those with their own agenda or those who don't have the skills we need to help us.

After all- most of us who have been living with people with personaliiy disorders have unique counselling and support skills ourselves.

We don't need to be fobbed off with amateurs or people who have their own issues any more.

[October]

After all- most of us who have been living with people with personaliiy disorders have unique counselling and support skills ourselves.

We don't need to be fobbed off with amateurs or people who have their own issues any more.

This wins my vote for best comment of the month.