Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?
Children of Narcissistics
Sheela:
wow, Moon, I am so sorry . . perhaps we are doubles . . .
my son and his wife broke up and since my son is an "N" . . .
it was messy, immoral, juvenile (on his part) and
terribly hurtful . . i had no choice but to help the poor girl, so of course,
he accused me and even CALLED ME to say he never wanted
me to contact him again.
I couldn't help it . . . i had to ask him, "so why did you call?"
The only thing that hurts me is knowing how great the damage is to him
and how there is nothing I can do . . . except pray
Let me send a heartlight to you, Moon . . perhaps it's best to let go
and love as hard as we can from a distance . . .
Love is after all, is a verb, an effect and a FORCE for good . . .
there are no guarantees it will ever be returned but there is every
guarantee that it has an effect, if not on him, then upon us . . .
You surely deserve the love of your father, dear moon . . .
sadly, he is the incapable one . . .
sometimes distance is the only answer . . .
hugz,
sheela
Sheela:
dearest moon,
re:"detachment"
as always, your message filled me with insight and radiance . . .
just like the actual moon, reflecting the sun's radiance
as a metaphor in the sky for how we obtain light
(it used to be that almost all my poems would reference
the moon)
the light doesn't come from us, but we reflect it
and in such a way, the darkest night is filled with silvery light.
didn't we all grow up hoping to learn how to avoid pain?
initially we thought, we will become wise enough, rich enough, powerful enough,
to be the masters of our fate, that our suffering will end . . .
but we didn't see how sometimes we create suffering for ourselves
or how our suffering and pain are necessary parts of the complete package . . .
right along with joy and love and celebration
i am not trying to make excuses for bad behavior but as Jesus said . .
"let he who is without sin, cast the first stone . . . "
sometimes, the way to receive more
is to want less
your father and my son will see the day when they will need what we offered . . .
they will realize their mistake . . .(forgiveness is part of the package, too)
i will wait for that day. but i won't humilate myself by
going where i am not wanted . . . where i receive nothing but mistreatment
if i were called upon
I would be ready to help, forgive, forbear,resume . . .
but my message to the N's in my life is . . .
I AM NOT A VICTIM
(I am the one who decides this)
I would rather do things for and with people who reciprocate and respond
instead of humilating, criticizing and deriding me
I hope that you are at rest Moon, someday your father will know
what he missed, you have gone far and away beyond the call of duty
and you deserve all the light you can gather
enjoy! thank you for the wonderful message, have a great holiday
love, sheela------
Rosanna:
TO CANOE: the fact that you wrote such an inappropriate and angry message saying that you are not a narcissist only proves that you are one. We are on this board to help one another. If you do not suffer from loving a narcissist than you don't belong here.
Hopalong:
Ahh, Moon.
You are as free and bright as any spirit I've known.
:)
Hops
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