Author Topic: Hoarding - aspect of OCPD  (Read 8033 times)

Brigid

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Re: Hoarding - aspect of OCPD
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2005, 09:46:49 AM »
When we finally decided that my mother needed to be moved to an assisted living facility due to the onset of Alzheimers, I got the job of cleaning out her home before it went on the market.  I have never seen so much worthless stuff saved in every nook and cranny of the house and I must have thrown out at least 30-40 very large garbage bags full of crap.  My mother blamed it on my father, but who knows--they were both wacky.  I was throwing out stacks of bank statements that dated back 25 years from an account that was long closed.  My mother had every pair of shoes and every purse she'd ever bought.  My father had a jar of nails that were bent, but I guess in his mind, still usable (however he never did anything that would require a nail  :?).  I always blamed it on the depression generation mentality, but this was so far over the top that that excuse doesn't fly.

My xmil was quite the opposite and still lives in a home that looks like a museum.  She keeps all the furniture covered and the rugs covered in areas heavily travelled.  At nearly 87, I'm not sure what she is saving it for, but everything is always perfect.  My xsil is exactly the same way.  The really bizarre thing about my xin-laws (in my mind) was that they always had twin beds in their bedroom and would chastise their married children for wanting one large bed in their bedrooms.  (I have a feeling this is where some of my xnh's sexual dysfunctions come from--gee, ya think??).

Brigid

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Re: Hoarding - aspect of OCPD
« Reply #16 on: December 13, 2005, 10:08:11 AM »
Wow Brigid, funny about the bent nails. My h mentioned his grandfather did this, saved every bent nail in a jar. He thought it was kind of odd but never did he believe his own behavior was odd. Hmmm ... :lol: I mean he's got checks and bank accounts going back 25 years too.

And then there are the oddities.

Having to stay a member of some elite club, paying a ridiculous fee every year while we literally starved some years, so he could recapture his happy childhood years. There weren't many happy years but a few. Keeping all the club's information for years and years.

Staying in touch with his high school where he suffered horrible abuse by the private teachers. Collecting year books from them.
The truth is in me.[/color]

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Brigid

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Re: Hoarding - aspect of OCPD
« Reply #17 on: December 13, 2005, 12:15:53 PM »
Sally,

Quote
Having to stay a member of some elite club, paying a ridiculous fee every year while we literally starved some years, so he could recapture his happy childhood years.

That is so freaky that you would say that.  My xh's parents paid the initiation fee for us to belong to the exclusive club where my xh had grown up.  I hated it as the people were so snooty and it was costing us a fortune (the gift that kept on taking) when we hardly ever used it.  I begged him for years to resign, especially after the kids stopped going there for tennis and swimming lessons, but he always claimed that it was good for business (he never got one piece of business from there) and he had happy memories from his childhood.  I think it had way more to do with his fear that his father would be unhappy if we did quit and he also secretly loved belonging to something that other coveted, but of course, he would never admit that. 

Brigid

miss piggy

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Re: Hoarding - aspect of OCPD
« Reply #18 on: December 13, 2005, 01:55:36 PM »
Hello everybody,

Well, I think our family has the usual level of struggle of packrat/purge behavior.  My H and I seesaw back and forth as to who is the packrat and who is the tosser.  No wait, I toss his stuff and save mine and vice versa!  :)

Anyway, my SIL would, get this, put a bucket in the shower to catch the extra runoff water.  She saved lint.  :shock:  and the newspapers were stacked in chronological order.  My brother was able to dispense with the shower water and lint habits but the newspaper stacking continues, two weeks at a time (every recycle period).  She's so earth-friendly!!! not.

Put this on the list of things that make you say "hmmmm".

MP

October

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Re: Hoarding - aspect of OCPD
« Reply #19 on: December 13, 2005, 02:37:41 PM »
My mum collects junk.  Every room is stuffed full of it.  Dad built an extension years ago because the house was too small for us, and then we (my brothers and I) left home, and so she filled the whole place with even more junk.  Piled high to the ceiling in every room, with barely room to walk around.  She has furniture in her bedroom that has never seen the light of day because it is always covered with piles of clothes and blankets and other tat.

This is definitely an illness; she has no ability to distinguish between something 'collectable' (whatever that means) and something worth collecting.  Like most of us can tell the difference between costume jewellry and real valuable jewellry; to my mum it is all the same.  All to be kept, and left to gather dust.  (It is impossible to keep a cluttered house clean or tidy.  Not that she even tries, of course.)

My older brother used to react against this by throwing stuff away, whether it was valuable or not.  Years ago he made me throw away my teenage diaries, which I had kept for years, and a journal from a school trip to France that I won a prize for.  They all went out.  And he threw away his old carry cot from the attic.  I still wish we had those things.  So the useful stuff got dumped, and the junk remains.   :?

I am very good at sorting through my house twice a year or so, and weeding stuff out, to make room for more stuff.  Some goes into the loft, but most goes to the charity shop.  And I rescue classic books from the same shops.  I don't buy second hand clothes, but I do buy books.   :)

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Re: Hoarding - aspect of OCPD
« Reply #20 on: December 13, 2005, 04:03:11 PM »
I find it ...hmmm... that his handle is SUPER-M...
Oy. Perhaps he's thinks he's "super"? Couldn't be.

NOT that I think this person's website is in any way interesting otherwise at all, especially to special people who might get depressed by it!!!  :?

Hopalong

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Re: Hoarding - aspect of OCPD
« Reply #21 on: December 13, 2005, 04:38:13 PM »
Sally,

Quote
Having to stay a member of some elite club, paying a ridiculous fee every year while we literally starved some years, so he could recapture his happy childhood years.

That is so freaky that you would say that.  My xh's parents paid the initiation fee for us to belong to the exclusive club where my xh had grown up.  I hated it as the people were so snooty and it was costing us a fortune (the gift that kept on taking) when we hardly ever used it.  I begged him for years to resign, especially after the kids stopped going there for tennis and swimming lessons, but he always claimed that it was good for business (he never got one piece of business from there) and he had happy memories from his childhood.  I think it had way more to do with his fear that his father would be unhappy if we did quit and he also secretly loved belonging to something that other coveted, but of course, he would never admit that. 

Brigid

Wow! Another thing which is similar. I saw inside the club only one time! For about 15 years during our marriage my h maintained his membership. He had continually maintained his membership since he became an adult. It was in another state, some 1500 miles from us. My h did make things for the club over the years and bragged excessively about them. Every time the club membership expensive came up there was his exaggerated story of how he served them so well. This is the CNPD speaking for sure.

Yep, the people were snooty at this one too. It is the most sought after club to belong to on this small island where he used to live as a child. There was a waiting list years long. My h was on absentee status only for at least 40 years. He had visited there maybe 10 times during those 40 years. And people were waiting to take his place. The club finally kicked all the absentee members out. My h literally cried off and on throughout the process which lasted about two years. He tried to fight it.

I, on the other hand, was overjoyed because we would no longer be incurring the expense. :lol: :lol: :lol:
The truth is in me.[/color]

I'm Sallying Forth on a new adventure! :D :D :D

Healing&Hopeful

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Re: Hoarding - aspect of OCPD
« Reply #22 on: December 15, 2005, 09:41:29 AM »
I find it ...hmmm... that his handle is SUPER-M...
Oy. Perhaps he's thinks he's "super"? Couldn't be.

NOT that I think this person's website is in any way interesting otherwise at all, especially to special people who might get depressed by it!!!  :?

Hopalong

I know Hoppy hon... I saw this post at the time and thought it was beneficial to this topic... that's all.  Honest hon... he's not worth my time. xx
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Hopalong

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Re: Hoarding - aspect of OCPD
« Reply #23 on: December 15, 2005, 03:30:33 PM »
HOORAY! Take a girl to Thailand and she loses her BAGGAGE!

 :D
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."