Hello all... I have not been back to this board in over a year.
In the last month I have separated from my N husband. A traumatic experience to be sure, but I am already starting to get my voice back! As I reflect on the process I could not have done it without a really really good support network. A good therapist, who I feel totally safe with, friends to offer me a place to stay, friends who would sit up until all hours listening to me talk and cry, reflecting my feelings, helping me talk about the logistics of separation.... friends to ask me how I am and email me almost every day.
I had to first break the silence and reach out to them. They did the rest.
It took me three years of marriage to reach out. Finally, I was ready and they are there.