Monday was a red letter day for me when my therapist and I decided that I am just too happy to be in therapy. When I started seeing him nearly 2 1/2 years ago, I certainly never thought such a thing could be possible. Even 9 months ago when I was feeling very stuck in a sad and lonely place--finding peace and serenity seemed an unattainable goal. However, I turned a major corner about six months ago and things just started to fall into place after that.
Monday was a tearful session, as those of you who have read my posts know that I have a very close and wonderful relationship with my therapist. We became kindred spirits who travelled my journey to a healthy and happy place together. Even though he is younger than I, he became the father figure I wished I could have had, who loved me unconditionally. I will forever be grateful to him for getting me to where I am today and know that he was one of my gifts from God as I began this journey.
Finding this board was another of my gifts from God and I appreciate so much the help and guidance and great information and support that has been provided here. It was another big piece of the puzzle that was put in place to create a healthier me. I hope that some of my words of support have also helped others here. I would love to help everyone here to reach the peaceful, happy place where I am right now, but we must all travel the journey in our own way and at our own pace. My best words of advice would be to take it slow, don't let the setbacks get you down and don't ever give up.
I firmly believe that God lead me to this journey and has eventually lead me through it. I could never have been truly happy with my xh, but I also would never have left. My great fear of abandonment and the need to keep our family intact, would have kept me there forever--numb and empty. Finding out all the truths of his behaviors, the secrets he had kept and the lies he had told me was so incredibly devastating at the time, but it was the eventual fuel to my fire to get healthy, and to never, ever choose a relationship like that again. As most of you know, I am now in a relationship with a really wonderful guy who just makes me smile whenever he is near. It may not last forever, but it has shown me what it feels like to really love and be loved, to have mutual respect and admiration and to share the space you are in together. I have passed the test of being able to choose a man who I can trust, has never sent up a red flag and every one of my friends approves of.
I think this is going to be the happiest Christmas ever.
Happy Holidays,
Brigid
