These last few weeks I've been struggling with an issue that is breaking my heart. I need your advice on how to handle this.
My sister is 7 years younger than me. We were as close as two sisters could be for 35 years. As many of you already know, she became involved in the church and long story short, she and I are very much distant now. This is the thing, I am and have been very close to my sister's children. In fact, I joke that I have four kids because my sister is married to my husband's brother, they live right next door and my niece and nephew are at our home more often than not.
My niece is thirteen now and quite naturally, she has become very interested in boys. My daughter has told me some very disturbing things which her cousin shared with her regarding a boy who lives across the way. She isn't having sex yet, but I can see that could well be the next step if something isn't done. My dilema is this. My daughter has confided in me and doesn't want her cousin to know that she told me, but I am thinking I ought to speak to my sister about it. The other reason I am hesitant is because a little over a year ago, I warned my sister about letting my niece spend so much time at the home of a neighbor who has all boys, two of which are 13 and 15 years old.
The neighbors are very nice people we've all known for many years now and they are devout Christians as my sister is. When I told my sister, she just sort of blew me off as being overreactive. My niece continued to spend time at the boys home and I realized that my discussion with her was to no avail. As it turns out, the story my daughter told me involved the older son of the neighbors I had warned my sister about.
Should I tell her what I was told or should I let her mother handle it. My concern is that she will take it the wrong way, either as an attempt by me to say "I told you so" or she will not believe it and blow it off again. Meanwhile, I will have betrayed my daughters trust for nothing. I have considered talking directly with my neice but my daughter said that any time she has tried talking with her cousin she becomes highly defensive and angry.
I have told my sister before that she spends too much time at church and not enough time with her kids, but she ignores this. The saddest part of it is that what I see happening to my neice is what happened to me when I was a young girl, because my mother wasn't around either. She is seeking attention, love and affection in all the wrong ways.
Any suggestions are appreciated.
CeeMee