Author Topic: Literature on self-accepting  (Read 2382 times)

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Literature on self-accepting
« on: December 24, 2005, 01:04:53 AM »
I was just wondering if anyone here know of any reputable book or articles or websites dealing with the topic of self-acceptance.  So far I've only been able to only find articles that seem to be saying the same old thing..."you need to just accept yourself in order to be happy."  Or something to that effect.  Isn't that the same thing as telling a blind person, "you need to see in order to enjoy the beauty of a rainbow."  Maybe that analogy is a little bit extreme, but that's the superficial and unrealistic message I get from the articles dealing with self-acceptance or psychological issues in general.  Can't they understand that of course a person lacking self-acceptance wants more than anything  to accept themselves unconditionally and to experience the inner-peace that comes from it.  What if that person haven't seen the reasons for accepting themselves?  How can they accept themselves if they don't like themselves or deeply like and proud of who they see in the mirror each day? 

Thanks for hearing me out, and I will be grateful for any inputs or thoughts.

Hope everyone here will have a merry Christmas and a promising new year!

Kheng

insomniac

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Re: Literature on self-accepting
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2005, 02:28:06 AM »
There is a book that has helped me with this and a variety of other issues.  It is called "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die", by Karol K. Truman.

Sallying Forth

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Re: Literature on self-accepting
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2005, 07:10:09 AM »
Hi Kheng,
I found a great book called When Hope Can Kill which takes one through a series of questions into the discovery of oneself.


Welcome to the forum!
The truth is in me.[/color]

I'm Sallying Forth on a new adventure! :D :D :D

mudpuppy

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Re: Literature on self-accepting
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2005, 11:11:53 AM »
Hi Kheng,

I understand self esteem and self confidence are important and many people are hurt by a lack of either one in their lives. And I know you've struggled with this.
But I've found that part of understanding people and myself is to realize that no one has inner peace all the time and no one likes or is deeply proud of who they see in the mirror all the time.
Maybe being around Ns creates this impossible desire for super confidence or pride, or maybe it creates the illusion that everyone else is possesed of some super confidence you don't have. Everybody has their weaknesses and problems. Anybody who looks in the mirror and is deeply proud of themselves is, at the least, probably never going to improve and, at worst, a deluded egomaniac.

Maybe part of self acceptance is accepting that the people around you who seem so confident are just as screwy as you are. Maybe you don't have to overcome your own weaknesses as much as maybe stop overlooking everyone elses.
I know you're fairly young. Part of realizing just how similar and flawed the vast majority of people are comes with age.
Once you realize that just about everyone else is just as screwed up as you are its a lot easier to accept yourself just as you are. :D

Surely you know people whom like and accept despite their weaknesses and flaws. Why do you think you hold yourself to a higher standard?

Merry Christmas to you too.

mud

PS. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the most important thing. No I don't know of any book or article that will help. I'm sure there are many. But unfortunately the best textbooks are usually found in the school of hard knocks. :(
« Last Edit: December 24, 2005, 11:15:09 AM by mudpuppy »

Just visiting for now

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Re: Literature on self-accepting
« Reply #4 on: December 25, 2005, 08:53:44 PM »
Sally Forth and Insomniac... Thanks for your book suggestions.

Mudpuppy...I appreciate your perspective on it.

Sincerely,
Kheng

Hopalong

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Re: Literature on self-accepting
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2005, 09:09:19 PM »
Hi Kheng,

Maybe compassion for yourself, visualizing the real small child within you in as much detail as you can, and directing your full kindnesss there...regularly....will help you accept your adult self.

(I had an amazing hypnosis session once when my T enlisted my frustrated little self to help me overcome an obstacle and I literally experienced my own young arms around my neck. It was very moving. I talked to "her" and asked her to help me, and she nodded and hugged me, offering pure love.)

I hope that thought helps you. The child lives within us.

Hopalong
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

insomniac

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Re: Literature on self-accepting
« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2005, 02:16:37 AM »
Oh, I almost forgot....  I ran across this free e-course a while back that might help a bit. 

http://www.trans4mind.com/positive/positive1.shtml

I haven't gone through the whole course, but I subscribed to their newsletter, and I have to say that I like that.  I normally don't read any newsletters, but these I do read.  Of course, with any of these things, we have to let the information sink in and try to mindful of it throughout the day and especially when facing difficult situations--which is the hard part.

andromeda

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Re: Literature on self-accepting
« Reply #7 on: December 26, 2005, 04:33:24 AM »
Loving What Is  (sorry, can't remember author offhand)

Its in the self-help section at Barnes & Noble...Gives strategies for unravelling self-destructive thought patterns.

Andromeda
What's madness but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance?
                      --Theodore Roethke "In A Dark Time"