Thanks for your thoughts, Marta!
Yes, I realized after posting that that I was erring to characterize all those examples as N. And it is true, no doubt at all, that those people were treated poorly by their own parents, etc. -- but then of course the same is true for an N (that they have had a childhood trauma, but which was possibly or even probably worse than most).
I have seen in myself and in others a desire, need -- even demand -- that our heroes, whether they be political, social or whatever, be exemplary not only in the role they play or played that makes them a hero, but also in all the other areas of their lives. I'm saying maybe this is unrealistic. Maybe MOST people who climb to fame or celebrity for their good works are not "all that" in their personal lives. Maybe how they interrelate to their children and spouses are even commonly flawed in a way that is hurtful to the children and spouses. Or maybe they have other qualities that some feel are inconsistent with their "somewhat holy" celebrity.
I'm saying that it may be unrealistic to expect people to be so "black and white" -- the bad guys and the good guys. I'm saying that even people who did wonderfully great things for masses of people have some black spots, and most of the time. One can hear complaints about Mother Teresa and Lady Di too (though Di obviously being the less saintly of the two, she accomplished much good).
I hear what you are saying that a characteristic of the N personality disorder it to engage in twisted acts they find pleasing in being destructive to others, but couldn't it be that some Narcissists overcome that or suppress that enough in their lives to achieve great works as well?
I'm grappling with this because I know two Ns who both obviously have the disease and whose acts and words have been torturesome and destructive to others. Both of these Ns have a VERY strong "spiritual identity," and both of them have -- literally -- helped people in some ways. (One has provided shelter to many people and also provides counseling -- some of which I have heard and can tell is good. He was after all a preacher for some years. The other does healing work and someone who worked with her swears that the healing work she did actually did produce results for many people.) These same two people are people I CANNOT personally tolerate in my own life, because rather than being one of the recipients of their largesse or healing works, I am someone who they want something from. And both have the potential, should I let them into my life as far as they would choose to go, of literally destroying me -- if I could tolerate being destroyed.
In other words, there is zero question in my mind that both of these two people are N's. They both fit more than the minimum number of criteria.
But do I really have to think of their lives as a total waste or being totally bad? Since they ARE helping some people? And might it not also be possible that there HAVE been a few N's in history that actually did more good for the masses than harm to the unfortunate few that were in their immediate lives?
(You may not be surprised to learn that my best friend has oftened colored me as a "damned Pollyanna.")