Hi all,
I have a few slipped disks and my back has degenerated a lot over the last decade. I had already injured it in my 20s with some foolish heavy lifting and it stayed vulnerable, but wasn't too bad. Then I pulled my father out of the tub when he was too weak, picked my mother off the floor a few years later. I'm not after medical advice (pretty much know my options), it'sj ust background.
I think dealing with this chronic pain and new physical limitations has affected my personality. It some ways, it's good: it reminds me of my mortality, keeps aging before my face, adds a sense of urgency and poignancy. It calms my excitability. Give me increased respect and compassion for those who are dealing with far worse, yet retain their dignity, kindness, and courage. (Like a good friend in stage 3 ovarian. Two young women at church who've just had mastectomies.)
On the downside is one of the goods: it calms my excitability. I have less hopefulness and excitement about the future. Gardening has always been a great love, as has been interior painting. I am sort of stunned that these may no longer be options. I spend almost 2 days in bed every weekend just to get it calmed enough to begin the week.
Both my professional work and my avocation require me to sit at a computer. The worst thing for my back. So I have fears about the ability to keep working. I'll be 56 in a few months and should (hopefully) have decades ahead.
Does anyone have a chronic pain coping wisdom to share? Or just want to vent about that?
Hopalong
