I liked this little story from a newsletter. To me, it's how a lucky, well-loved child functions. And for those of us who weren't lucky...or well loved...there's still a child like this inside, who just needs a chance to trust life more, find good support, and tap their innate delight in being alive. It' never too late to learn how to be happy at any age, starting whereever you are. A book by Martin Seligman,
Learned Optimism can help too. I'll put that on the What Helps board. Happy Friday...xxoo, Hops
My sister-in-law, Marilyn, grew up in Colorado but now lives in Spain.
She occasionally returns to visit the U.S. with her two young daughters,
Carlin and Kathleen, and her Irish-Spanish husband. In July 2005, she
and her family were visiting relatives in Oregon in the USA. The
children's roughhousing got out of hand, and 3-year-old Carlin's femur
was fractured.
X-rays at the local emergency room showed what the doctor called a
"buckle fracture" on the bone above her knee. It was worse than a
hairline crack, but not a bad break. He advised against a cast, which is
more of a hazard than a help in that particular situation, with a very
young child. He predicted the fracture would heal in 10 days to three
weeks, and she'd be walking again in a month.
So for a while, Carlin scooted around on her bottom, like a baby that
hasn't yet mastered a coordinated crawl. She took obvious pleasure in
the extra attention. She had the air of a good-natured, legless queen.
As their vacation in the US drew to a close, nearly three weeks had gone
by, and Carlin still refused to walk. Marilyn decided to take Carlin
back to the hospital. The doctor looked at the X-Rays and talked a bit
to Carlin's parents. Then he asked Carlin what happened.
"I fractured my femur," she said, proud to know such technical terms.
"Can you walk on it?" he asked.
"No!" she said. "That would hurt!"
"Hm," he said. "Can you show me how you USED to walk on it?"
"Sure," Carlin said. She got up and strolled across the room. When she
turned around, she wore a peculiar expression of gratification and
surprise.
"Now, does that really hurt?" the doctor asked.
"Oh, yes," she said, with a conspiratorial smile. But her face gave her
away.
"I think it's OK for you to walk from now on," the doctor said.
So she did, and now she's bipedal again.
This situation in this story is dwarfed by the enormous problems many
people in our world face today. However, when things get overwhelming, a
version of the doctor's question may be worth remembering. "Can you show
me how you used to feel, when you felt optimistic?"
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