spot-on Annabelle!

[write]

"the moral of the story is, do not confide in or seek advice from an N's family or friends. You'll get a distorted view of the situation, you'll question yourself, and you'll get no validation. Seek out neutral people or people who know you. Not the N's supporters. You don't want people to tell you what you want to hear, insincerely, but you don't want people to tell you what the N wants you to hear either."

when you start to look at your whole situation it's surprising how few voices in your life are rooting for YOU. How could they be- when it's N who wants the attention and wouldn't tolerate them giving it to you, except in the context of making them look good.