Looking for a new church

[write]

I told you about my experiences at the last church, and some of you urged me not to give up.

I am really afraid of looking for another church, but I miss going and being part of a larger community.

What would other people do, just go visit and sound a few places out? ( my judgement's not fantastic right now ) or pick somewhere likely and contact the minister and go talk about it first?

[Hopalong]

Hey Write,
Good for you.
Some churches print their sermons and have them on a rack where you could pick them up during the week...and some print them on the church's web site. Those would be "safe distance" ways to get an idea of the ministers' themes, etc....

Or you might even visit an evening class or group meeting associated with the church, just as a visitor...

Take it slowly and easy and don't hand over your own good mind to anyone. Trust your intuition and let it guide you to kind, safe people. Try to remember what matters most won't be how slick they are with words, but how you feel around them.

This is just me, but I'd try to pay special attention to two feelings (it's a tough assignment for me sometimes to identify these right)...:
invasion: when someone (even a super-warm-acting someone) seems to be someone "swarming" me in some way, or
indifference: when I greet nicely and the smile doesn't reach the eyes, and my gut simply tells me, "this one isn't a candidate for friendship, but that's okay, I don't need to pursue..."

Good luck, dear. Hope you will enjoy it and be lifted.

Hops

[Healing&Hopeful]

Hi Write

Good for you… You can see the benefits which will help you, like you miss going and you liked being part of a larger community.  Why should you not look for these things which help you?

I like Hoppy’s suggestion to visit an evening class or group meeting as a visitor.  I know from personal experience that going to a church for the first time can be overwhelming…. Everyone recognising a new face and welcoming, I found it nice, but also overwhelming, like some kind of desperate attempt to welcome us so we kept going.  This church, as it happens, did turn out ok, but my first impression was not very kind.

Take care

H&H xx

[Chicken]

Hey Write...

You say you're judgement is not good right now...  I would listen to that more than anything else in the world 

When my judgement is off, I attract things that confuse me...  I can't quite figure out if it's good or bad or am I imagining it or if I am being taken for a ride etc etc... the list is endless, but it tells me one thing and that is that it's the wrong condition to go looking for something like a church.

If I were you, I would chill about it right now and try to nurse yourself back to a more solid state and then go looking. 

What do you think?

[movinon]

Hi Write,

Good for you for taking care of yourself.  If it were me, I would try some different churches and FOLLOW MY GUT about places that feel right.  I know you're a little "off" right now, but you have a wise part inside of you that knows exactly how to take care of you.  Try to tap into that and follow it. 

If you can, go to a mirror and talk to and affirm that wise part of yourself.  If you're like me, you've heard enough negative to last a lifetime.


Good luck!

Movinon

[write]

Thanks y'all.

Will ponder your advice and search the net first.

I so understand that invasion/ indifference thing- so many churches manage to convey both simultaneaously I find- asking for hugs or 'compulsary handshakes' and your address/ telephone whilst the feel from the people can be so cold.

Today I did something which involved a long look in the mirror- got a haircut. I've been cutting it myself for so long it was really neat to go be pampered and it does look good.

I feel a gentle new energy creeping...

[Teartracks]

Dear Write,

Searching for a new church can be daunting.  I attended the same church for at least fifteen years and loved it.  Then I moved far away.  I'm introverted to the core and it took a while for me to pick a church and go.  When I did, I liked it...great teaching, great music, wonderful people.  There's no reason to say why, but I decided to quit going to this church.  I didn't attend any church or group for close to a year.  I had a deep yearning for fellowship.  One of my new years resolutions was to find a church and or group I could be a part of.  One day I stopped in at a church in the next small town and inquired about their small groups.  They had two that fit my schedule and I started going to both.  It was just exactly what I needed.  All this to agree with others here suggesting small groups as a good way to ease in and get started.