Voicelessness Symphony -“Concerto Grosso”

[BJ]

Aside from our forum differences, grievances, and support styles, I find we all have one major commonality.  Simply put, (obvious, but sometimes forgotten), we don’t want to feel alone. Although I don’t post too often, I’ve been observing here for a long time. Most topics reflect on N, pain, survival, coping, fear, hurt, relationship suffering and venting/advice/support, as well as, sharing, caring, forgiveness, healing, and again, survival. But what I want to emphasize is how I have always noticed that sharing, the basic human need of connecting, seems to be paramount throughout. From a trivial discussion, to a heated one, I still trust that we feel we are not alone here…and that’s what counts most.

So, I’m wondering…are we losing some frame-of-reference here? Isn’t it possible for a diverse group of people, with similar pain, to stick to the most prominent subject at hand? I guess we all have our different strategies for handling conflict, stress, and trauma etc.,…or, even healing, but I’m starting to feel a sense of separation here with some of these recent topics. So, I was thinking what might feel better to me.

Music has always played a great role in my life, and life can be compared to a symphony.
This, orchestra for a group of soloists, is a true Concerto Grossoman. A forum by us and for us, yet protected when necessary.

I started thinking, and, at the expense of humility, here’s how I feel about this forum. 
This is a forum about Aphonia, a disorder of the vocal cords resulting in loss of voice, or…Voicelessness. I feel this site as Euphonic, or…any agreeable, pleasing, and harmonic sounds… even when painful. This opens an opportunity for a new melody, with harmony… creating the symphony. When I am confronted with another crescendo of life, it’s time for an intermezzo, and then, hopefully, the movement. This is not a rehearsal…This is an ongoing opening night--and we're at Concerto Grosso! I thrive on dynamic range, but I like to maintain some sense of harmony. We are all part of this orchestra. What an exciting, dramatic symphony we are together.

Sorry if the corny analogy offends anyone in any way, but I hope you get my point.

[mudpuppy]

So, I’m wondering…are we losing some frame-of-reference here? Isn’t it possible for a diverse group of people, with similar pain, to stick to the most prominent subject at hand?

Amen and amen. Thank you BJ.

mud

[BJ]

HI Jacmac,

I agree with much of what you had to say.

I really believe when it comes to conflict, what each participant is trying to do is be heard!   It's funny because many people keep saying in having conflict on the board we're taking away from what this board is about, but that is exactly what this board is about:  voicelessness, being unheard, misunderstood and not accepted for who you are.

Conflict, invariably involves, all of those feelings coming up and the success comes when both parties are willing to go the extra mile to reach out and connect to the other person.

Although, I never intended to imply that I am opposed to conflict (dynamic range). In fact, I find a good debate stimulating and thought provoking. I often learn a lot with a good friendly disagreement.

And you made me think too.

You know, I agree with everything you've said BJ, a lot a great truth in that, but you know something, when my children fight/argue/ are upset with each other, I don't throw in the towel, and say, "Oh, God, our family is losing it's focus."  I use it as an opportunity to learn more about their personalities, to afford them an opportunity to learn from each other, and to also learn about myself in how I am able to navigate through the situation.

What I don't feel comfortable with is bashing and degradation. Where conflict is concerned, I usually try to understand what purpose it will serve before I get too deep into it. Sometimes it can just make me think I feel better. I find it can only truly help me feel better if it serves a more meaningful purpose--for me, for someone else (my judgment of course), or best of all, both. It seems that it reminds me of a time when all I heard was screaming and yelling...and the purpose somehow gets lost and everyone gets hurt, frustrated, stressed, and left feeling alone. I'm trying to step back and be objective these days so I can continue on a more positive productive path. This CAN still include conflict.
I appreciate the insight and opportunity consider your view.  BJ

[mum]

Hi, BJ. Beautifully put. Thanks for expressing your thoughts so well.
I think over on one of those "challenging" threads (I mean challenging for me to read/keep up with) some astute person mentioned getting a radar blip about possible trolling ( tha is my interpretation of what was said, and I do believe that's a possibility). Lots of the "conflict" is now confused with anonymous postings and someone "stirring the pot" who was not originally involved is a great possibility.