my sweet child

[moonlight52]

hi every one   i am new here and my family has gone thur great pain this past Christmas time .my husband and i have 2 daughters 1 -27 ,1 -13 our 27 year old is allmost done with college and is a nanny. she is funny sweet oh yeah she has so many girl friends that i think sez so much about my big girl .she loves her mom and dad she has had 3 major relationships thur the last 10 years .well 1 year ago a young man she knew when they were 12 came back into town he looked her up and wanted to date her .she asked me what i thought something she does not usually do .i told her i thought i didnt feel good about him .well she dated him any way. he was nice they seemed ok. he seemed to be rushing her i thought .well after 6 months they moved in a apartment togather .then Christmas eve eve they were home and my girl wanted to visit a girlfriend he said no .did i say hes a body builder 18 inch biceps .he sez no she cant visit her girlfriend .stands in front of door. brakes  all phones.she runs into the bathroom locks the door. looks into the mirror and sez to herself your in some big trouble now. he gets door open. keeps her in apartment 4 hours we are a family of no violence she didnt know what to do .he then came behind her punched her in the side of her head .she spun around fell to floor she said her body shook. lucky she is very fit she said she stood up he just kept saying i dont want to go to jail over and over .so she thought i will tell him i love him even though she is  thinking i hate  him .telling him we wont tell anyone anything to get out of there .he falls asleep. she slips out back door comes straight to moms and dads house. i take my hurt baby lay her down pray to all the angels the lord above i was so afraid. ice on head .she sez oh mamma .police .hospital .that thing broke an artery in her head and fractured her skull in 3 places
she has had surgery to removethe huge  blood clot no perment damage she has bad dreams. she has moved home. we are a strong family . gratiful she wasnt hurt more .the police dectives all have been great. it will go to grand jury .he will get 7-10 years he will most likely will plea bargin  one of the charges is kidnapping. i could not protect my child from this monster. she is stong and even stronger now .we do not trust like we did .
                  how do i help her without treating her like a baby .i could not protect her. i can not say how i feel about that thing that did this to our girl .there are too many monsters         moonlight

[Hopalong]

What a terrible trauma for all of you, and how wonderful that you are pulling together around your wounded child.
I know you can love and mother her in the natural way you would care for anyone you love.

And as to how to talk about it, let her tell you when she's ready--it may be she just needs you to listen, and you can process your mother-anger with your spouse, trusted friends, or here. Her healing could get slowed down if you own needs come  into it. (I personally would like to come help you remove his fingernails, however.)

. In the meantime, calm company,  maybe a lot of cpeaceful things like playing cards or sewing together, might be calming and comfort her, help her heal.

My prayers for you both (((Moonlight & D)))

[moonlight52]

yes hopalong      that is the way for us .you are so smart .gosh yeah i can talk to my husband and i can listen to my girl and she can choose to talk to her dad or me or both of us togather. so were not making her feel like we are taking her emotional temperture
every 5 seconds. she mostly seems to want to have us listen to  her feelings and i do. belive me if i could take more hurt away i would .
just in the last few days i can see her relaxing into a more positive outlook we have not forgot the feelings of our 13 year old .when
our 27 year old was in hospital it was so hard for her to see her "perfect"big sis hurt .she looks up to so much. but then again they talk on their own and the little one has seen our oldest overcome alot. thank you. i think i can do more by waiting for her to choose when she needs me to listen and i can talk to my fella about our feeling about our girls togather . yeah thats cool only thing is theres still too many monsters out there we have to watch out for .  love moonlight

[Plucky]

Hi Moonlight,
I am so sorry this happened.  I can only imagine with horror all the feelings you all are going through.

The fact is, you did protect your girl.  She survived.  You cannot control what all is out there.  What you did was to love her and teach her to love herself.  So when it came down to a very dangerous situation, she was able to do what she had to in oder to save herself. And she is going to be alright, and you are supporting her in every way now, and you are even protecting your other little one against the negative impact of what happened. 

You cannot possibly keep her out of all danger. But she seems to know how to react when confronted with danger.  That is what parenting is all about.

Plucky

[moonlight52]

hi ya bean
                  do not worry .we are very safe this dudes going down this does not sound like the moonlight you are used to but were talking about my baby. i am a child of the 60s .non violent .cycle stopped with me in my original family .i could hardly send my girls to their room when they were smart mouthed that did not happen much. but when this happened to my child i did want to hurt this guy .hes real big i am 5 feet tall so much for that fantasy.Bean i do admire the way you look at an issue from all sides may be you do not want me to say admire i like it you are cool .this site is cool .as for telling the suffering i and my loved ones have endured once is enough i do not need to go over it again .we are so strong .i am glad  to be able to know what the heck happened in my life to understand this stuff and know you guys understand .i see no reason to tell about my childhood stuff again. did once, i was heard .i am gratiful .i told what happened to my 27 year old .i see no need to go over it again. we are safe and guess what we are starting to have fun i forgot what that was for a while.
 thank you    and i am thinking we have just about had enough of these kind of experiances and we are being as careful as we can as for the young man lord knows what he will be like after ten years in the big house. moonlight