how does the narcisscist hide self from self ?

[moonlight52]

hello  how does the n hide the pain they have caused from themselves ?when there are in some cases young people that choose to leave this earth because they could not live up to his expectations. must be some hard work or do they  just flip a switch . my n father sez he has a switch he can flip and he does not have to think about any thing he does not want to . from what i see it has worked almost all his life slipping only once or twice .is it really they just really really do not care at all? i do belive and i  am ready to accept he can not love me or any one .but my twin brother died on a motorcycle at 27 and not 4 weeks ago my n father flipped out and mocked my twin brothers death his only son .so heartless could he really be so heartless just to take some indirected anger out on me. that would mean he is a zombie or something. somethings you just do not do this was the worse abuse ever .worse than the physical abuse.
what are we talking zomie people  can some one explain         moonlight

[reallyME]

From my experience, you need to get to the point where you realize that you can't expect the n to give you something they don't have to give.  Compassion, empathy, caring, feeling...these are foreign concepts to an N.  If you realize that you are living with basically nothing more than a SHELL, not even a HUMAN, you will not be shocked when the N behaves like an N.

reallyME

[moonlight52]

thank you really me  i just should not be so stunned by anything my n father would do this sneaky sneak attack was something
1 nano second later it was like it did not happen i would have liked to ask him then "what do you think i think about what
you just did" i must remember they are this shell empty its sort of pathetic if they were not so toxic.
i am so very gratful to everyone on this website i could not sleep last nite and wrote on many questions just because well just because you all understand i do not have to explain myself thank you i was just so happy also because my sister has reconnected with me and thats a sweet good thing         moonlight

[pennyplant]

Someone I know seems to truly not remember the hurtful things she has done to other people.  Possibly she learned early in life that if you don't think about a thing over and over again, it is easy to forget, if you distract yourself with all kinds of excitement, or get drunk or high, you don't remember things.  Eventually, if she forgets, then it is like it never really happened.  When I have brought up certain hurtful episodes, she seems genuinely distraught that she might have caused such pain, but she just doesn't remember doing it.  If she did that, then she is truly sorry.  Hmmmmm.

Another person I know has the strategy of blaming the other person involved in whatever the hurtful situation was.  He finds a way not to get his hands dirty though he certainly was involved in the situation.  For example, Blameless Man's female "friend" has a hubby who checks her phone bill and finds many daily calls to Blameless Man.  Hubby calls this number to confront Blameless Man who he thinks his wife is cheating with.  Accidently gets a hold of Blameless Man's wife who handles the situation calmly (perhaps this is not the first irate hubby she has had to deal with).  Blameless Man thinks is it funny.  Why?  Well, this hubby is crazy.  And he has always hated Blameless Man.  And none of the phone calls were FROM Blameless Man TO female "friend".  All the calls were from HER to HIM.  Therefore, Blameless Man is off the hook.  And just in case Blameless Man gets backed into a corner, he has the perfect excuse.  No cheating has occurred, because "it's only cheating when something pink touches something pink"!!

All this tells me that n-type people do have something of a conscience since they go to such great lengths and leaps of logic to protect it.

Nevertheless, I do have sympathy for Blameless Man as I think I know where some of it comes from and it is a tragic story.

Pennyplant