christmas, should be a time to get together with family, celabrate and be happy. sharing gifts, eating until you feel sick and playing silly games. if only........
i was sat here thinking about the last xmas i spent with my "family" my eldest son was 7 my youngest son 5 and my daughter 18months old.
we arrived at my mothers, kids excited arms full of gifts. my mother announced things were going to be different this year, and she wasnt wrong!
she decided that she didnt want her house spoiled by all the children. there were going to be 8 children in all, all under the age of 8. but nothing could have prepared me!
we were all led to the car port, or the garage. it was freezing cold. she had set everything up in there so her house wouldnt get spoiled by the children. we all sat round, huddled in a circle of chairs, with the kids running arround in the middle. next to my father was a calor gas heater, my worst nightmare. a naked flame and a toddler. my daughter was the youngest, and had not long been walking. running around in a small space with 7 other young children. she kept tripping, i was almost having a heart attack everytime she stumbled, imagining how easy it would be for my precious little girl to trip accidently in the fire, it was horrible.
then the worst of it, my dad calling her over to him, oblivious of this little girl unsteady walking towards him and a naked flame. after the 2nd or 3rd time i got up and announced we were leaving, i couldnt take it anymore.
i was fuming at my mother, she asked me why i was going. i said nothing of the set up in the garage other than the fire that was terrifying me with my little girl. she told me i was being stupid and no one would let anything happen to her, of course, accidents never happen do they?
we tried to call a taxi, there was none available, and when one finaly turned up he wouldnt take all five of us, and he left! so it ment we had to walk home in the icy cold for 3 miles with 3 young children. btw my youngest son severe asthmatic.
the next day (boxing day, my birhtday) my mother rang and had a go at me, telling me i was determined to ruin everybody's xmas. i tried in vain to explain that i was worried about my daughter, and in fact all the children having to spend xmas day in such conditions, but it fell on deaf ears. the emphasis was on me managing to ruin everyone elses fun and how i was the only one that complained. i was selfish because how dare i expect her house to be ruined by the children. she harped on about how she never had anything as we grew up and now she had a nice house, she was going to keep it that way. i actualy believed that. i actualy believed i was selfish and i had done something wrong, and i was silly to think my daughter could be at the least bit at risk. even now, i know im right, but am i?? if that makes sense!
just verbalising, i hope no one minds!
