Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

which way up?

(1/2) > >>

write:
I am still working my way through about two billion issues re. my husband's narcissism and our lives and situation.

I AM tired of living a lie, living a double life, of lies, of abuse, of neglect, of pretending things are OK when they are not.
I'm tired of bridging thanklessly the gaps in my husband's life, of making him successful, of being the way in which he is 'NORMAL' and people trust him.

BUT:

Why don't I just let go?

What is wrong with me?

I have ended several other relationships which are destructive to me.

I no longer think he will change or make any effort to change except as a lie to get me to stay or do something.

I have nothing worthwhile here.
There is no meaningful future for me.

Why do I stay?

Anonymous:
First of all, you WILL let go...you're just preparing yourself.  Sometimes what's familiar to us is less scary than the change into the unknown.  Not to mention, there's all of that stigma about leaving a husband that's been pounded into your head since you were little.  And the fact that your husband has been chipping away at your self-esteem...he's WRONG, you know?

If you're feeling ready, make a plan.  What scares you about leaving?  Is it fear of being alone?  Fear that you won't be able to support yourself?  Losing friends?  Figure out where you'd like to live, be familiar with that area.  Stockpile some money.  Join a class or a gym and make some new friends that don't know anything about your "old" life.  Someone that will know you as the "real" you.  You can do it!!  

Don't beat yourself up so much.  You are realizing the issues at hand and that takes an enormous amount of courage.  Be proud of yourself!!  The next logical step will be to take some action.  It won't be easy, but if you get yourself mentally, financially and emotionally prepared...it won't be such a hard transition.  You'll be on your way to happiness!!  Keep working on yourself...that's the ONLY person you should be worrying about right now.  You'll get stronger every day and you'll be able to take that final step.    I'm sending you kind thoughts...

Avery

Avery:
Whoops!! That was me...I forgot to log in....Duh.   :lol:

Avery

Portia:
Post 32

write:
thanks for your responses.


yes, this is a process.

And yes, the medication helps me keep functioning as things are.

Much food for thought there...

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page