Hi Friends... Thanks, I'm feeling good today. This is going to sound crazy but I think Math may help with boundary setting.
!! Yesterday when I was reading the posts I kept reading Stormchilds and Hop's responses to my mothers words, and Pennyplant said practice practice practice, and it all kinda came together for me this morning. I journaled this morning and wrote out my mothers words and Storm's responses. I remembered helping my daughter with Math, and how when she couldn't get a new concept we would pick a problem and I would show her the steps to the solution. I would have her work the same problem four or five times following the solution guide. After she did this, I would have her go to the next problems and work them on her own. Because she saw the process, the remaining problems weren't difficult for her. So this is what I was doing. Writing moms past words and Storms responses, all the while thinking to myself, what are you afraid of, is mom speaking the truth, etc etc. I felt myself becoming more comfortable the more I typed. I even added my own responses to Stormchilds. Then I remembered hearing from somewhere that when you imagine something it becomes stronger in your brain. And I was thinking how this works against me because when things come up like came up this weekend, I remember things said in the past and panic. But I was thinking about what Hops said about keeping it short and I thought, I can remember short things. So I've created a "short list" in my journal. It starts with Hop's "Goodbye, I'll see you later, and I've added to it such as "this isn't up for discussion, and "I appreciate your concern but it's none of your business". This could really help when dealing with my mom because I am protecting myself while at the same time not being hurtful to her. And when she starts her stuff, I tend to get overwhelmed and things get foggy and I end up saying nothing. But I think I could remember a short response. And I was remembering Pennyplants practice practice practice. And I think I am not good at boundaries with my mother because I haven't practiced boundaries with her.
I know it's silly to struggle with this. I feel foolish having this problem. I have soooo much to talk with my T about this week. Feeling like I'm on a good path. My grandmother is calling me from the other room. Ready for her car ride. She's 94 and soooooo sweet. Thanks for listening.
