Movinon. Just got back my internet connection...otherwise, I'd have thrown you some support earlier.
I, too, am a schoolteacher.
I lost track of how much this whole crap with my exN has cost me, but it is far more than I make in one year (maybe a year and half's worth). It's a good thing I own my home, as it's the only thing saving me right now.
I did get to write off the psych eval. fees on taxes, though.
Why am I not freaking out? Well, if I had half a brain for math, I would be!!
But, seriously, and this is the crux of the whole issue....and it is something I learned from my father (now deceased over 20 years). Money is energy. It's a collective agreement we all make about value. It's not "real". We just all agree about it. If I see money as energy flow, coming in, going out, it continues to flow. If I freak out about it, it's like the faucet shuts off.
Why do I believe that? Because I saw it in my dad's life, and I am seeing it in mine. And I believe, like everything else, that the Universe is in a great conspiracy of LOVE, and wants us all to be happy. When we line ourselves up with love and higher power, we get to tap into that.
THINK that you are ok, financially, then you FEEL that everything is ok, and LOW AND BEHOLD (swear to God, this is how my dad lived...and he died a happy, kind, well loved and modestly WEALTHY man) your financial situation will line up in your best interests.
YES, it comes with a huge deal of faith....something else my dad had tons of. But I saw again and again, how my mom would be worried about bills, etc, and almost from out of the sky....some long lost customer would pay up, or some old policy would come due....and they would be ok.
My dad turned his faith and positive attitude into a good, honest living and was able to leave my mother completely taken care of in her later years.
It's happened for me, too. I would be concerned about a huge legal bill, and voila! Wouldnt' you know it, that extra work I did for curriculum, well, the check shows up right on time!
Sure I am in debt up to my eyeballs, but my home has just gone way up in value, and I am moving soon to be with my husband, so we will share expenses, and I will be moving to an area where the home values have not skyrocketed like here. So I will be able to help my son with college after all, etc.
It is all lining up for me. WHY? I think it's because I believed it would. Would it have lined up for me if I worried? I don't think so, but either way, it's MY brain and MY thoughts, and I'll be damned if I let that one jerkoff I used to be married to take over that part of my life as well. Besides, I am so much better at not letting my brain do the downward spiral into darkness thing, that I get physically ill when I indulge in that...it's like my body says: HEY! We don't do that toxic stuff anymore!!!
If I worry about money, see myself drowning in debt....then, like every other worry, that's what I feel....and what I will create...and believe me I can freak out in an instant...BUT: I CHOOSE NOT TO! I actually stop myself. I tell myself what to think. If I choose to think of myself as just fine, financially, like God will take care of me...not to worry, I not only am happier, but good things happen TO me!
I heard once about a man, I think some amazing card player, who made a fortune at poker contests or something, who had taped to his bathroom mirror, a note: "Good things happen to me". This is how my dad lived. This is how I am choosing to live.
And when "bad" things happen, I honestly believe that they are there for a reason....to learn from....and that, in the long run, is a good thing too. (sounded like Martha Stewart there...sorry!)
Anyway, I will put my cheerleader pompoms away for now. I just really want to you get happy.....because I know there is life AFTER (and even DURING) debt caused by A**h***s!!!!
