Massage

[Portia]

mmmmm maybe you could decide (in your head) to be strictly friends.....first, as it were? Tricky though, if you find him physically attractive (do you?). Decisions decisions!

[ANewSheriff]

Write,  Good for you!  I think that is just great.  I have received some gift certificates for massages in the past few months.  Just last weekend I went and had a shiatsu massage.  I had no idea what it would entail.  I thought some guy in a robe would be walking around me with incense making me repeat, "Omm".  Thankfully, all it consisted of was sort of an eclectic array of massage techniques.  Ninety minutes, though!  I felt like I should have been up and doing something after sixty. 

ANewSheriff   

[write]

Ninety minutes, though!  I felt like I should have been up and doing something after sixty. 

yes, my 30 mins wasn't quite long enough, saying that, she left me relaxing in the room and when I could hear this weird snoring sound I decided- best leave now!

be strictly friends.....first, as it were?

it's ok, my ex was at the concert tonight.
He says he's gay....

( wish he wasn't always so bl**dy right about that....
how can he tell????!!!! )

Friends is ok.
That's what I'm going for.
Getting to know people and enjoying their company.

His parents took photos of us earlier, and we were joking.
I didn't feel any heart-stopping attraction.

Saying that...

do you feel those frissons etc once you're a healthy person?

Or were they all born of obsessions and acting out?

*

[Hopalong]

do you feel those frissons etc once you're a healthy person?

Or were they all born of obsessions and acting out

?

That is a GREAT question, Write. Thanks for posing it.
I don't know the answer but I want to know.

I don't know about healthy desire, and I've been on hiatus too.
I hope there'll be lots of wisdom here about this.

I do know that really getting over attraction to Nmen has left a big question mark for me...what would it/could it be like to be attracted to a decent, kind man???

Hope we both get the chance to find out!

Hops

[gratitude28]

Back to the subject of massage... I got an hour long foot massage. It is so amazing to me how the body works. She touched my toes with a little stick, and I could feel the pain in my lower back. Today I feel like I did a strenous workout in my calves. I really enjoyed the massage. It was great. Sheriff, I always get to thinking I should be doing something else with my time too!!! I have to force myself to focus and try to use it as some sort of meditation time.

[Healing&Hopeful]

H&H thank you, when are you having your next one?

Hi Portia

I've just been reading back over the posts and apologise I must have missed this before.

Me and hubby had a couple in Thailand.  Luckily we were massaged by two thai ladies, both in the same place so we went for a shower together afterwards, then the steam room and then we had the massage.  I was really glad he was there, as two women chattering away in thai through the whole thing.  I'm sure they were just chatting about nothing, but I could imagine them saying to each other, mine's got a big bum etc etc.... 

It is worth trying it though....


Write.... Good for you
Saying that...

do you feel those frissons etc once you're a healthy person?

Or were they all born of obsessions and acting out?

I believe that you do feel those frissons healthy or not.... by this I'm taking it to mean the butterflies in the stomach kind of feeling?  I definitely felt this when I met my husband, and I still feel it now sometimes, when I look at him.  I like to think we have a healthy relationship because it feels mutual and I feel loved and wanted, but also heard.  I'm not going to pretend to you that our relationship is perfect by any means, or that we don't get annoyed with each other from time to time, but I do think we may have one secret to why we get on which we were discussing the other day.  What happened was his brother and his wife were bickering (not a full blown argument, but bickering if you know what I mean)... about 3 plates which he left in the sink.  They were bickering for ages about it, and me and hubby went home and said "It's three plates, does it really matter if they were washed or not, or who by?  Do we think it was worth their energy?"  No.... and I think this is it, anything minor or trivial we let go.  In the grand scheme of things, in the bigger picture of our relationship, it doesn't matter.

Anyway... I think I've gone on enough.....

H&H xx

[write]

I think I've gone on enough

never!

I was thinking of doing a massage tomorrow but something is telling me it's a bad idea, it's better to wait until I'm a bit calmer.

What are people's experiences of going if you're emotionally charged/ upset?

I'm going to go swim outside for a while; I feel like there's tension in me, but if someone touches me I'll scream or cry.

[Healing&Hopeful]

I think I've gone on enough

never!

I was thinking of doing a massage tomorrow but something is telling me it's a bad idea, it's better to wait until I'm a bit calmer.

What are people's experiences of going if you're emotionally charged/ upset?

I'm going to go swim outside for a while; I feel like there's tension in me, but if someone touches me I'll scream or cry.

Bless you (((((Write))))

I've not been when I've been emotionally charged or upset, but what I did pick up on was you saying something is telling me it's a bad idea... then I feel trust your instinct.  If you feel it's better to go when you're calmer then why not?  The other alternative I was thinking about is, how about a foot massage or something that's not an all out massage.

I've just come back from yoga tonight, and yoga is great for tension.  I only go one night a week, but it's good because although you are in a class with other people, it's all about going your own pace and listening to your body.  There are also lots of breathing exercises to help relax you.  Here's one that you can try at home if you want to.... You sit on the floor with your legs out straight and ensure your back is straight and shoulders back.  You need to check your alignment by checking that your feet are in line with your hips, and feet slightly turned outwards.  Then from that position you slowly lie backwards, trying to keep your alignment.  When you are lying flat on your back with your feet in line with your hips, you place your hands by your side, palms upwards.  Then you take a couple of deep breaths, and then start counting from 50 backwards.  50 - inhale, 49 - exhale... until you get to 20.  From 20 you slow your breathing down by counting slowly 20 - inhale & exhale.  19 - inhale & exhale.

Take care

H&H xx

[write]

what I did pick up on was you saying something is telling me it's a bad idea... then I feel trust your instinct.  If you feel it's better to go when you're calmer then why not?

I wonder why I always try to go against that?
Why I dont just listen to my inner voice and take care of myself.

I loved yoga in ENgland, had this great teacher who understood it.

Reflexology has been suggested a few times; I'm going to look into that.

Thanks y'all.
I am calmer tonight.

[gratitude28]

H&H,
I had a massage in Thailand and the same thing happened. The girls laughed and chatted the whole time. That certainly doesn't add to the realxation. I was kind of annoyed about it. But then I also know that it must be a boring job and such. Still, I want to relax when I get it done and kind of meditate.
Beth

[write]

The girls laughed and chatted the whole time.

what could trigger any better the internalised message: I don't hear you/ you're not important...yuk.

I don't even like supermarket checkers talking over my head!

[gratitude28]

I know, write, it's so disrespectful.