teartracks -
What binds me to the group is that I feel like it is VERY important work and for everyone that I have sent through, it's been life-changing work. It's the only women's empowerment movement I know of in my area that isn't affiliated with some type of organized religion (which I am not open to).
dandylife -
Yeah, I get that this would happen if I was in another situation like work. I guess if I worked with him...I don't really know. The thought makes my stomach turn. The problem is that it isn't just a work situation. In a work situation, I wouldn't be dealing with personal growth issues. This organization is about personal growth, deep feelings, integrity. People come together to peel back the onion.
Mum-
Again, it's not an option for me to leave the group right now (by choice). About the group stuff, it's more like a community. We have 4 weekends a year where I am and we have a women's community of, I would say, 400. Some women are active (staff weekends on a regular basis etc.), and some only participate in thier smaller (5-10 women) weekly or bi-weekly circles. I guess I could just participate in weekends and my circles. I think it becomes a bit of an ego thing with me. I hear women on weekends talking about all of the "other" things they are doing (a lot w/ men) and I get jealous that I am not "in the loop". Maybe if I type it here, it will lessen, but I want others to look at me and go "wow". I want to be the one whose name gets dropped- okay that feels REALLY shameful, but there's me naked on the table.
I will mediatate and be still in this. I have even left a message for a man in the program that I feel can offer a better perspective and that I can come to resolve some things with. I don't think I am necessarily anti-man, I am just very, very pro-woman.
Hops -
GREAT questions!!! - The community would have no problem at all w/ me leaving. They are for each woman following her own intuition and doing what's right for HER. There is really no encouragement either one way or another to keep up with friendships made in the community. After attending the weekend, there is circle that comes together for a number of weeks and "guides" that offer tools that might help if women want to continue to do "work" after the guides leave. It's all about following the wise woman within yourself and CHOICES - whatever that path may be. There is no "leader" to speak of that calls and asks where you've been if you leave. The support is there if you so choose to use it. I could call any of these women and ask for support. They are at all different levels of growth, so everyone is encouraged to speak their thruths.
I don't want to say I don't get a lot from the community b/c I do. I get immense joy from helping and guiding women in the community and helping women to move through pain and other blocks so that they can be more empowered in their day-to-day lives. These women are teaching their daughters to be true to themselves and not give thier power up (as so many of us do). This work is my passion.
When I went on my weekend, I didn't like women. They were the competition and were not to be trusted (messages from my mother b/c her H cheated on her and she held all the other women responsible instead of him). My worth was SOLELY in my looks and how much attention I could get. I learned what it felt like to be nurtured by women, to express my anger until it was COMPLETELY out - in a healthy way, to learn how to handle conflict, to be nurturing, to feel joy, to gain of sense of the sacred, to forgive and grieve. The weekend is equivalent to 2 years of therapy so it is very intense. Women look DIFFERENT by the end. It's a place where women can go with ANY emotion they are having and know that our grandmothers and grandmothers before that are there to support us all - the sacred feminine.
Sorry, didn't mean to go on, but I wanted to give you all a good picture of what it is.
Movinon
