Hi RM:
I'm glad you don't feel a whole lot of anger then and it's mostly pity. Me too. But for me, I used to think it was all gone and now I wonder if it ever is.
When I see shows that depict abuse or I hear of it/read about it, in the real world. my first response is to feel angry. I know that's probably a "normal" response for "normal" people but sometimes I just wonder if mine might be a bit ....more than "normal". Maybe I relive some stuff subconsciously at those times, or maybe there are big buttons that are easily pushed and don't release with "normal" speed....stuff that would not have been there, except for my experiences of being abused?
Write: I'm not sure what your intent is but I'll try to answer your question anyhow. My goal as a parent is to teach my children, help them acquire the skills to strive and survive in the world as good people. My motto is if they make it to adulthood and are not in jail by that time, I have done my job.
I think that helps me to live with my mistakes a little more easily.
Surely I won't mess up that badly.
How do my ideals differ from my parents? I think they probably had similar goals but were so messed up in their own heads and lives that that didn't always come through as the message.
Those are interesting questions and I'd like to hear other people's answers.
there are outlets in healthy communities- cults are different.
I was referring to the type.......of abuser, I guess, each abused child must endure. Some people here have grown up in environment where the abuse has been more insidious than blatant. That's confusing, I think and maybe a little harder to pin down. Anger is generated regardless. However, maybe such a person would have opportunities to express their anger and not be punished for it?? I don't know, I'm guessing...compared to..........
Another person, may have been ruled so carefully, with such control... that they were not allowed to go out with their friend, talk on the phone, write in a diary, go swimming, play outdoors, etc. do anything or go any where they may release some of their feelings. In my head, it seems worse to be stuck in a place all the time with abusive people, having no support and no means of expression, always being punished for even asking for basic freedoms. Anger is generated, I bet, and repressed.
What I'm saying has nothing to do with Jesus or cults and actually, I'd prefer if we stayed away from those subjects as they seem to induce conflict. What you think?
Sela
