hi bean
yes i have a N brother,Niece and my grandmother are all N's (on my Mom's side)
My brother doesn't speak with anyone much (I have three brothers) but we kind of keep in touch with him ,here and there He is always very depressed and almost impossble to deal with
My Dad passed away and my Mom is much worse. I really do not see her much. I do call heron the phone and keep it very light and simple
i get migraines when i go to her place. It isn't healthy for me
I know now what went on in my early years I always knew there was an illness,i didn't have a name for it. I was lucky as i never really thought that the insanity had anything to do with me (I knew this at 6) My mom always acted like she was three and my dad was a crazy in- raged lunatic most of the time (after a rage he would try to buy us stuff to say sorry)
But for me it is really in the past I have no anger toward my parents I truly feel sorry for them
My problem is that i am too codependent (but strangely enough very independent as well ) I do not believe in "people" which is sad. I see them as non caring and only interested in their own program I have little trust and have always taken care of myself When i did ask for help I was always denied so i have pretty much realized that in this life you do look after yourself with no outside help I am very spiritual (not religious) and this has helped me through many hard times. I have come full circle as meeting my N boy freind is what made me realize the issues my family had.I find that unstable people are attracted to me (and i guess me to them) I probabaly feel safe with them as it was the way i was raised
blue
