How N's interact with eachother...

[seasons]

deletede

[blue]

My own family has many N's and i can see how they play off on each other and they do seem to need or enjoy it It is a sick drama that has never ended
I do not get sucked in because i stay away now But my Mom use to drag me into her drama and my Dad use to try until i would just walk right out and go home (He would start with his criticizing and then it would turn into screaming) The first time i walked out was great. I just got in my car and went home!
My b/f has a aunt that is an N (not related by blood) and i think his dad might be an N too
as well as a  Friend of his
I think it is so odd that he does not see himself in that mix. He does the very things he criticize his aunt for doing (she calls him all the time with her drama. He seldom calls her) The funny thing  is he never calls them. He will wonder where they are but not call or see them (rarely)
but he has a need to hear from them His aunt has three sons and none of them will no longer speak to he or see her. So she calls her nephew (my b/f) to rant and complain and he will listen to her when no one else will. She is a horrible person. I make sure to stay clear of her. The other day I heard him calling his cousin and telling him that his mother (my b/f's aunt) might be an N!!!  ( I had suggested this to him and he disagreed then told his cousin exactly what i had said!)
I never realized until a few years ago how much N's need someone around them. They really cant be alone Even when i am NOT at my b/f's house he will try and catch me for hours on the phone Alot of times he will try and start something (is this from being bored or do they have a loop in their brain that wants to cause a fight,is this an attention getting device??. Now if he starts it I just hang up in his ear!!  ((and yes it makes him stop doing it)))
blue

[lightofheart]

Hi Seasons, Bean, Blue-

Wow, I really don't know how anyone survives more than one person with N tendencies in the family, especially as parents.
My hat's off to you for managing come to through with chins up and coping skills intact.

An eye-opener in my last N friend debacle came when she launched into a tirade about a friend of hers--and every one of her well-articulated gripes exactly described her own behavior with me. Whoa! Thought that kind of unawareness must be rare...until I came here, read others' experiences, and realized every N I've ever been close to has been that blind to their own stuff..

I can't even imagine what years of family get-togethers & holidays must be like with dueling Ns?

My H. has an N. sister & Mom; last family party both came to wound up with Mom throwing cake, the N. sister outing her sister-in-law for adultery in front of her (young) kids, and N. sister/Mom having a shove-down at the curb. The N. sister hasn't spoken to my H. since. It wasn't until that party that I understood why, our first few years together, my H. used to disappear into a guest room for a few hours on Thanksgiving/Christmas...think he needed a few years of peaceable holidays under his belt to believe they even existed.

I hope special occasions with your chosen families now are as warm and happy as all get out. Just as nice as you deserve...

 
LoH