group cards and what to say on them

[Jona22]

I have been wondering about something for years.  You know when you are at work and someone puts a folder on your desk containing a card for someone.  The card is passed around to everybody to put a note on and sign.  They are usually given for birthdays, bereavement, or when someone is leaving the organization.

I have watched people signing these.  They open the folder, see who it is for and immediately start jotting down something appropriate and very nice.

I always open the folder, look to see who it is for, and go blank.  It is even worse when the folder is passed around a table.  I know it is a card to sign and I start sweating about what I am going to say.  I can never think of nice little phrases to write and just signing my name seems so cold.  I think this must have something to do with my FOO.  Nice or sweet things were never said.

Does anyone else have trouble with this?

[WRITE]

I guess if you don't have a personal connection to the recipient, 'best wishes'/ 'thinking of you'/ 'take care'/'get well soon'/'have a good birthday'/'enjoy your retirement' and your name are fine?

~W

[WRITE]

I guess if you don't have a personal connection to the recipient, 'best wishes'/ 'thinking of you'/ 'take care'/'get well soon'/'have a good birthday'/'enjoy your retirement' and your name are fine?

~W

( I already posted this earlier but it didn't 'arrive' )

[Jona22]

I guess what I am wondering is why I can't think of nice, appropriate things to say at the time.  Everyone always writes such nice things.  All I can ever think of is Best Wishes.  Maybe it isn't strange.  I just feel like it is. 

Nice things were not said in my family.  Best Wishes were not even said in my family.  It is not that they never talked or always said bad, mean things.  They just never wished anyone good luck, or have a good time, or I love you.  They sure as heck never said "I'll miss you."  Not just to me--I mean to anyone.

One of my aunts who lived 800 miles away was visiting one time and at the dinner table she said, "Have you ever noticed in this family, if anyone walks up to us to give us a hug, we take a step back?"  Everyone just sat there and looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language.  But it was true.

There was just never any nurture in that family.

[pennyplant]

Hi Jona22,

I bet it is just because it wasn't taught to you.  And it is kind of an intimate thing even though it is a card.  So, there is a certain pressure and maybe discomfort anyway.  Especially if you want to mean whatever it is you write.

We do the cards a lot at work.  In just a couple years there had to be 7 or 8 bereavements, several illnesses and operations, a couple weddings, and a couple retirements.  It is hard for me because I'm relatively new.  Some of these people have worked together for 20, 25 or 30 years.  They know and like each other sometimes better than their spouses!  All kinds of "in" jokes.  I get nervous sometimes when it is my turn and my hand-writing gets all shaky.  What I do now is look at the card and then put it away for a bit and let myself think of what memories I have of the person.  Usually the cards float around for a few days.  Sometimes I can come up with something that seems more personal that way.

If you have a couple days to work with, maybe some thinking time would help.

Pennyplant

[reallyME]

Jona,

I thought maybe I could suggest something regarding writing on the cards.  It might be helpful to buy a little poetry or "sayings" book, and just simply copy something onto the card from there.  Personally, I often use Bible verses myself.  If the person is someone I know, I can ask God to show me what verse applies, if not, I just pick something nice, based on the person's personality.

Laura