Re: Doggie People

[Healing&Hopeful]

Hiya all

Just thought I'd share this with you.... this is my bio N-dads recent post, and I just wondered if N's behaviour with their pets is different to how other people treat their pets.....  What do you think?




Dogs will often show you up, but never let you down 

As many now know, I got a boat primarily to have somewhere to take my dog into the countryside. He is now used to being on riverbanks etc. and will usually just lie around on the grass.

However he does have one unacceptable behaviour; occasionally he runs up to people barking. This is to try to get quarry to chase, or protect the area. If he did it often I could get someone to help me so I could stop him, but he will go 3 months or so before doing it again sometimes, so it is difficult to arrange.

The other day at Chapel Hill he did it to a couple with a Rottie, they had not had for long. Being a rough type he came over demanding I put him on the lead. Now I KNOW I was in the wrong, but as this defeats the object of being there, and Barney IS harmless I denied. We'd had a good trip and this was spoiling the day, plus we found the boat of my friend who recently died was sinking, due to the bilge pump packing up, so had my hands full anyway.

The upshot was I got angry and went over shouting as well. BUT in the end we all calmed down, shook hands, and I'd shown them their dog was not the beast they thought, and was offered a pint the next time I was in the pub.

The next day I was at home and walked in the lovely weather along the riverbank. A Munckjack deer ran along the top of the Bank, missed by Barney who was down near the river. Anyway I called him to me and had got the lead ready, told him it was a dog (he wasn't fooled, it was dinner) and of course after trotting up to it, was chasing it. He ran up and down for a bit, before following it over the dyke. This was covered in weed, otherwise I don't think he would have done, however he ended up looking for it in a field of sheep. I was terrified. Sheep were scattering everywhere, however I had almost caught up on the other side and called him. He was distracted long enough, and single minded enough to continue to look for the deer. The sheep flocked to the other end of the field, and Barney ran up and down looking for the deer, then a way back to me, but he couldn't get back. He could get through the electric fence, and I even got him to come through the wire, but he would not cross the dyke.

Shortly another dog walker I know came along, and stayed with Barney while I walked nearly half a mile to the bridge and through 2 fields, one with cows, to go and get him. I dropped him (put him in the down) and when I got there he had stood up, but the other man said he had just watched me all the way back.

All the years of work, and the shows where you have to get your dog to retrieve next to rabbits, chickens etc. in pens paid off in those few minutes, as without that I am sure he would have chased the sheep, with the inevitable consequence.....probably loosing his life. Doesn't bare thinking about.

If only dog suitable dog training classes were compulsory for all dog owners.

[Sela]

Hiya H&H:

This is classic isn't it?

I'd shown them their dog was not the beast they thought

He singlehandedly saved the day by reading their minds and proving them wrong all in one easy heroic step eh?    Not!

while I walked nearly half a mile to the bridge and through 2 fields, one with cows, to go and get him.

Would he do as much or even less for his own small or adult child?  I'm sorry for the hurt the answer to that question might cause.    !!  ((((((((H&H)))))))).

If only dog suitable dog training classes were compulsory for all dog owners.

And something similar that would weed out sperm donor parents like him!  (and if only children were as obedient and easy to dominate as dogs I bet he'd like too eh?  )  If only he had an inkling of the patience, good will and "love" he dotes on this dog......for his own children!   

And not only that, but if his dog were truly 1/2 way trained, he would have been quite able to call him and prevent him from ignoring his master by one simple command:

"Sit!"

Hahahaha!!  Big hero-dog-trainer-mind-reader (of dog's too) that your father is!  Not!!

Do you find him very irritating?  Frustrating?  Pathetic? I do.  ((((((H&H)))))  Sorry he's like this.

Maybe the best thing is not to read his crap?  How about switching to "the joke of the day" or to some nice poetry or other more entertaining, uplifting, positive, possibly useful stuff worth reading?

Sela

[Healing&Hopeful]

Hi Sela

Sometimes I think this is "joke of the day"....  same old, same old.  However I don't look at his postings very often anymore (once every couple of weeks at most) as I don't seem to have time and he's not in my thoughts anywhere near as much.

Another thing that has changed is that I'm nowhere near as bothered what he thinks about his dog, or that he doesn't treat me with even half as much respect as his dog.  Wow, that's pretty impressive actually!  Shows me how far I've come....

I suppose I posted this with more of a mind "Is this common for dog owners to think?"  Hmmmmm......

H&H xx

[pennyplant]

I have an aunt who is similar to this with her dog.  She hasn't bought her a boat, but that is probably only because she doesn't have that kind of money!  This aunt also has some kind of mental or emotional illness along with a drinking problem.   Also, probably quite lonely as she doesn't have a family of her own and always lives quite far away from relatives.  So, I guess I would say your dad is not your average pet owner.

Pennyplant

[Healing&Hopeful]

Hi Penny

My bio dad doesn’t have this kind of money either really.  He’s been unemployed for over 10 years now, and due to his permanent insistence that he has a bad back, he is on the lowest level of disability, however obviously for an N this isn’t good enough and he should be on the highest level.  He doesn’t think the state is paying for him as he worked for 20 years and pays tax on fuel, and because he’s paying his insurance & TV licence so he’s paying for himself.

I think the things that jump out at me are how it’s not his fault… because I have a dog I bought a boat, if his dog barked at people often he could stop him, and with the deer story I found it very confusing, read it quite a few times and I’m still not sure I get it.

Plus this bit…. “plus we found the boat of my friend who recently died was sinking, due to the bilge pump packing up”.  I’m sure it’s his friend’s wife who has died!

So yes, answering Sela’s frustrating, annoying etc…. I think confusing more than anything else.

Thanks for reading and putting up with my ramblings!

H&H xx

[pennyplant]

Oh yes, the Ns I know tell stories in a very choppy way that is hard to follow sometimes.  It's like they are losing track of their own thoughts but just have to keep talking anyway.  Luckily, they can just make adjustments in the story for the parts they don't remember.  That's an interesting way of not taking responsibility for one's own actions--my dog made me do it (buy the boat)--it would be funny if it weren't so sad.

PP

[portia guest]

Dear H&H, confusing it was.

I was left with a sense of…..this is like a six-year old on Monday morning at primary school writing about ‘what I did at the weekend’ and expecting a gold star for three reasons: the quality of his writing; his heroism in the story; and him being a responsible (in his mind) dog-owner compared to others (note: has to compare to other dog-owners to feel superior).

Nope, it isn’t how well-adjusted grown-up adults think, I think. Sorry H&H. Hope that helps to explain? It’s a boy’s story written in the hope of garnering praise and favour. It has zero to do with dogs as such; any dumb (voiceless) creature would do. Some-‘thing’ to be superior to.

Take care of your enquiring mind!

[penelope]

Hi H&H,

Is there something to N's and show dogs (or horses) I wonder?  Because I think this is a prime way to garner attention for oneself, and have no real responsibility to the dog.  If it doesn't perform, he can be outcast as "not good enough."   You have no real worth if you don't garner praise and attention, ya know?

It makes me wonder if my sister-in-law is N/Nish, as she competitively shows and breeds dogs.  She had 5 at last count.  This is her only way to get attention, it is her whole life, as she refuses to work (although she'll argue she makes money at this).  It drives my brother nuts at times, I think he in essence married his mother (our Mom).  At one point she was repeatedly referring to my dog who is "Just a Pet" as "a piece of Shit," promting me to buy a real dog...I was surprised and miffed to say the least.  

So I got upset after a few episodes like this, needless to say, and finally wrote her and my sister (who I also suspect may be very Nish) an email.  It basically said:  So you know, I'm not planning on getting a dog to show (at the time little sis had been sucked into the drama, had selected a $1500 show dog, which her and her husband had to fly to a different state to obtain, and SIL had been appointed official "handler" - this was all to gain SIL's friendship/loyalty, I assume - they became best friends overnight).   Anyway, the email went something like the following, after I started receiving photos of the prize puppy with the plan for her "regime:"

"Hey guys:  I just wanted to let you know that the reason I got my dog from the pound is that I feel very strongly that breeding dogs for show goes against my moral beliefs on the treatment of animals as there are so many animals discarded every year, for which homes cannot be found.  So, that is why I am not getting real excited about your choice of buying a show dog (sis).  Also, so you know, I "adopted" a 21 year old Arabian horse, for the same reason when her owners no longer had any "use" for her.  I am open to discussion about this, but please be sensitive that I do not necessarily agree nor do I wish to buy and breed show dogs for any purpose when so many animals are put to sleep every year in the pound."

I thought it was tactful and to the point - it served it's purpose too as SIL ceased calling my dog a "piece of shit," finally.  I guess this is a technical phrase in the show dog world, nothing to get offended about.  It's just that, well, he's a mutt.   

SIL eventually responded with a curt: I don't think we should talk about dogs, it's obvious we don't agree.  Breeding dogs for show and field trials is a big part of what I do and your dog is a pet - they are not even close to being the same thing.

hmmmmmm.  Such an interesting description of the multiple purposes of dogs catering to humans, eh?

pb

[Hops]

HUZZAH, PB.

I mean, of course she'd never "get it", but it was nice to read this.

I look at my gorgeous mutt, who was born in a veterinary surgery student clinic (where the mother dogs, strays, are sacrificed...but at least to a good cause). The strays are anesthetized and operated on, to teach surgical procedures, and then not wakened. But...they discovered 7 premature puppies in one dog, and my pooch was the only one born breathing (they were able to resuscitate one other). So...she was bottle-reared by my friend's son, a vet student. (Boy was she hand-nippy until I caught on she thought my fingers were a teat...and I had to snarl and shake her like a mama dog before she stopped the biting.

Anyway, I feel the same way. I love all dogs, including "bred" ones...but what's the point of that except human obsession? Maybe it's nice to keep some of the pure old breeds around, not let them die out...if that's "show people's" reasoning, I get it. But that doesn't explain puppy mills.

Soap box.

 

[WRITE]

'Blustering'

That's the tone I think Ns use a lot.

However I don't look at his postings very often anymore (once every couple of weeks at most) as I don't seem to have time and he's not in my thoughts anywhere near as much.

it's interesting how much discipline you have to use to cut people out of your life these days! With internet sites and blogs, I confess to still sneaking a peak at a guy I cut all ties with 2 years ago via his website, and I have wondered a few times if it's healthy.

But in many ways it's just helped show over time what a Nidiot he is ( not PD N so much as selfish with pathological addiction to beign untruthful )

My dog was from SPCA, she is gorgeous and all the time people ask what breed is she. It's not important to me- she is perfect in all ways for me- but clearly it's something people value. I don't need a designer dog- though I would have adopted a purebreed if my son had picked one.

I have never really understood people who have loads of dogs ( or children for that matter ) but I wouldn't judge so long as they care properly for them.

Sometimes we watch the police programmes about how the animals get into the SPCA- that is infuriating, the stupidity and laziness of some of the owners. The animal shelters seem to do all they can to help if you need help and ask for it. On one programme a guy with mental impairment collected stray cats and the SPCA in California came along and helped him pick 4 to keep and get speyed, and to adopt the rest. He clearly loved them and was a good caring owner, he'd just become overwhelmed.

[Healing&Hopeful]

(((((Sela))))) (((((((Pennyplant))))) ((((((Portia))))) ((((((Hoppy))))) (((((Write)))))

Many thanks for your comments and thoughts.  Portia, I loved your description and I do think you are spot on.  His postings are, I went out on my boat today and I did this.

Another thing I read on here that springs to mind, and I can’t remember who said it so I apologise for that, was like attracts like.  Nosiness got the better of me and I had a look at the replies.  Well, someone posted that he should have kept the dog on the lead… heaven forbid… a responsible dog owner like himself that’s worked hard training his dog… you can probably imagine what the thread is like now.  I’m just really rambling here but I did think about the amount of people who have chaos in their lives.  Even in his online postings this comes through and I did think of “like attracts like”.

I met another very N-like character at the weekend.  Went to see the in-laws yesterday, and one of my husband’s nephew’s and his Gran had called in to see them also.  A few family on my H’s side say she is eccentric.  I’ve only met this person once before.  If I didn’t know what I know now I would have probably found her quite charming, however I was aware that I was a new source of supply for her.  I heard lots about her life, where she’s been, what she loves etc etc.  I sat there and politely listened, smiled in the right places, you know how it is.  For the half hour, three quarters of an hour this was fine… I can cope with this, but I suppose what I found really amazing is that I was aware.  I knew exactly why she was being the way she was to me.  And I’m pleased with myself that I can see this now.

Love H&H xx

[Portia]

And I’m pleased with myself that I can see this now

such words sound so sweet and they're good to hear

*****H&H***** (pom poms)