Good Things About NMother

[gratitude28]

bean,
You said you have been focusing on the good things about your mother...

I was kind of mulling over this topic. There aren't many, but...

My mother is fearless in a lot of situations. She will ride scary rides and go snorkeling and is never afraid. I wonder if that's from having a fantasy world?

My mother made me soft boiled eggs when I was a kid and I liked them.

That is about all I can come up with.

Beth

[Certain Hope]

(((((((Beth)))))))

My NPD ex-husband was never afraid either. I think it's because he has no concept of his mortality, bein as he's a god in his own eyes and all.

Love,
Hope

[gratitude28]

That's what I think too... they create a little world in their mind and fit the square pieces into the round holes by sawing off the edges, think it's a perfect fit an they've created somethig perfect.
I don't know. I am trying to make a metaphor and it's not coming out...

[Hopalong]

Mother was an outstanding 1st-grade teacher
Had me reading very early
Nuts about literacy
Tutored foreign students' wives in English

[Portia]

Unafraid of things that would scare the pants off me. Fearless about new ‘experiences’ (ahem). I guess that’s both ‘good’ and ‘bad’! (Fun and dangerous.)

She will ride scary rides and go snorkeling and is never afraid. I wonder if that's from having a fantasy world?

I think it’s from not having a realistic view of the world and its possible dangers. Like a fearless child. In a way, this makes me realise that the world isn’t as hostile a place as I once thought, otherwise, if it was, she wouldn’t survive! I also think there’s a basic survival thing that’s fairly well-honed in them too. If they sense danger, they don’t think twice about saving themselves. Thoughts?

Fed and clothed me adequately. Took me to the library.

Oh, divorced my father! If they’d had stayed together, I’d be severely psychotic by now, I imagine.

She never hit me and dislikes physical violence.

She can be hugely entertaining, in a way that many people enjoy. A lot of narcissistic types bring a lot of fun into the world.

[penelope]

hi,

beth,
That is kind of funny about them being fearless, I never thought of it before, but you're right!  NMom will complain to anyone about anything, it's like she has no fear of embarrassment.

some other good things I've noticed:
my NMother has lots of friends and I don't doubt that she helps some people (she projects good things on people she likes).  My sister for example - we'll see how long it lasts...

She's a great gift giver if you're a friend, not a relative!  ha ha

Taught me the value of hard work and believe it or not honesty - mostly I think I learned it from the example of not being like her and my father, though.   

Her OCD and compulsion with minutia (keeping the house clean, etc) taught me to enjoy life and not get wrapped up in rituals that really don't matter.

My oversensitivity due to the abuse has made me an empathetic and kind person.

hugs all,
bean