How can you be close to someone who keeps hurting you?
And pushing someone to talk when they are not ready is just more of the same.
Be gentle with yourself- abuse is trauma and you need a healing space not being pushed to mend things on someone else's timetable.
My husband took years to work out his 'being nice' was no use when some percent of the time he was unacceptably rude or hurtful.
He gets it now, and we're about to divorce. But his narcissistic traits meant he would not listen when we were together, and he could switch moods and it didn't bother him but I was a nervous wreck.
I put up a barrier too, what was the point discussing it any more when next time he'd do it again! And again and again. The only thing I am sad about is I didn't end the relationship sooner, it drifted on and on and got worse not better.
Therapy was a really big help to bring it to a close, I went to a good psychologist for a couple of years on and off.
We are good friends now, as close as we can be when he has this emotional disconnect to me, he's in therapy and trying to change but it's finished for our marriage- I'm never going back to that.
