Hi Penelope,
Yup! Ask away & thanks for asking
Its really nice to have somebody other than myself asking me questions
re T posting: I dunno, you can ask her yourself though if you want
re my 'passing everything by her"... Nah, not everything, I did ask if she wanted to read the 'some background' post first as a matter of respect, given that it was a pretty revealing thing, especially for someone who's been hiding so long.
"... not trust and acceptance....' I entirely agree. Trust from my side has been stripped away completely, and it never existed with T. We don't actually have 'a relationship built on codependancy' because we didn't have a relationship to start with. She was deceiving me (and possibly herself) into thinking we had one. There was no real relating occuring from the start, and now there is even less because without lying she says she has extreme difficulty in saying anything.
Take the relate out of relationship & all you have is a sinking ship huh.
I do get annoyed when people look over my shoulder when doing things sometimes, although I'm fine with it when they are interested in what or how I'm doing something creative or technical, and its neccesary when people are working on something together.
Yup, expression of feelings is a biggie. I do it all the time, in fact I'm quite a 'heart on sleeve' guy, its always been important for me to say how I feel with people I'm close too. I guess I was 'too honest' from the start with T, it made me easy to deceive. T is looking at identifying feelings at the moment. The 'more on shame' posting gave us a lot to talk about, and it seems T has so much guilt, shame and anger going back so long about so much that other feelings & emotions don't get much of a showing, if they exist at all.
There has been so many lies & secrets, big ones and small ones, since I met her and before we met, I only found out they were lies after I moved here. You might answer some of your questions easier by looking again at T's initial post perhaps.
