Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
just found out
Karin - Guest:
Having 'been there, done that' Pandora, be thankful that you are finding this out now and not after 27 years and three kids later. The feelings of betrayal in my case were compounded with his betrayal of our whole lives together as I began to examine our relationship. You will never, ever get what you require from this man no matter how hard you try and you do want what most (normal) people want; emotional connection, equal respect, etc. If you look carefully, you might see that he only has his best interests at heart and if he needs to involve you in that he'll do what he has to; he will continue to be dishonest.
You deserve better.
phoenix:
bye
Karin guest:
Hi Phoenix,
I read your post with interest. What you say about cheating men is true, but what alerted me to the possibility that Pandora's husband is an N is her reaction
--- Quote ---I have been very needy and insecure and have been appealing to him for emotional support. He cannot give it. He is unable to put himself in my shoes. He is not able to see the effects of his words and actions on others, including me
--- End quote ---
That was the one feature that I simply couldn't understand when I was going through the same situation. I understand it now, having been introduced to the mechanics of narcissism.
In your experiences Phoenix, did you ever feel that totally unbelievable bewilderment of not having your feelings heard at all, let alone understood? In my gut I knew that I really did not matter to him, even though he said all the right words. I knew it wasn't just the cheating that was the problem, in fact I was willing to accept the reasons that you wrote about.
Just wondering.
phoenix:
bye
pp:
delete
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