in my experience not many people will see the Nism. It's pretty much invisible except in a close personal relationship over time. I never try to explain it to friends and family- they just think it's psycho-babble or I'm exaggerating.
well, Craig, I sure have thought the same thing you do, regarding this topic. I have in fact confronted Jodi, the N. Let me share:
when I finally had lasted the 6 weeks at Jodi's house, being mocked, ignored, mistreated, given double-messages and effectively "punished," I decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, this B**** is GOIN DOWN!!!! ( I did not realize that I would be the one the family turned against, for exposing their QUEEN!)
Here is what happened: I said to Jodi, "Look, it's obvious we can't get along, are not taking a mission trip together, and you have been ignoring me for 5 weeks straight...so, Jodi, tell me, WHAT AM I DOING THAT IS UPSETTING YOU TO THE POINT OF TOTALLY PULLING AWAY FROM ME?"
her first response was, "nothin. what are you talkin about? what do you mean?"
I would not take that BS for an answer, so I again demanded to know why I was being treated like dirt.
Jodi's response finally was, "I never meant for things to turn out this way. I never meant to hurt you. "
I said, "yeah yeah, well that is all done now and I'm leaving tomorrow, so what IS it, Jodi?"
She said "Promise you won't be hurt? I never meant to hurt you and this is why I don't want to tell you..."
I said, "ok ok. I PROMISE, now TALK TO ME PLEASE. I DESERVE AT LEAST THAT MUCH!"
She said, "ok I don't like you at all. In fact I CAN'T STAND YOU!"
I sat there in shock but calmly responded with, "ok, good. now we're getting somewhere. THANK YOU. GO ON..."
She told me that she could never be close to me cause we have NOTHING In common at all, I didn't want to do anything with her, and I was just too heavy to keep up with her.
FIrst of all, we had plenty in common, but when I got to her house, she didn't want to do anything with me. She later told my friends that I was a HUMIILIATION to have near her in public.
As far as me not wantin to do anything, any time her husband would take us out, she did nothing but criticize people and whine about how she was hungry, tired, wanted a new pair of jammies, etc.
As far as me being too heavy, I was slow and a bit overweight, but I could have gone sight-seeing with her. What she didn't apparently recall, was that she told me before I went to her house "now don't expect me to be taking you places. I like to be at home, so do not expect me to go sight seeing with you around the town." (see, they SET YOU UP FOR A FALL EVERY TIME!)
anyway, confrontation got her to finally SPEAK HER EVIL FEELINGS toward me. Later, after I got home, she informed me that she was almost ready to get a lawyer to come take back all the things she gave me. She also refused to send me an entire roll of pictures I took with a camera she and her husband loaned me while I was there. (never DID get those photos either, with the explanation of "my mother feels that you are too attached to me, and it would not be healthy to send you these pictures)
She also started rumors that I was lesbian and trying to make moves on her and another lady.
N's are EVIL to the core, PERIOD! You can certainly confront them, but you must remember that they have gathered around them, their supporters in the way of family and friends, who usually have MONEY and CONNECTIONS to RUIN YOU BIG TIME...so be CAREFUL! They are cunning and vicious and will stop at NOTHING to protect their IMAGE as being BENEVOLENT and WONDERFUL......if you dare to EXPOSE or CONFRONT THEM, you'd better really KNOW what you are getting into and not be surprised when you find yourself ROYALLY SCREWED OVER!
I talk to Jodi now and again online, but I do not get close with her again. She no longer lives where she did either, so we live miles and miles apart, which is for the BEST. her new "friend" is very much like her, but continues to ask me pointed questions about my view on who Jodi really is. I think there is trouble in paradise maybe.
~RM
