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Why be 'Guest'?

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Lizbeth:

--- Quote from: jacmac ---Liz, I've sent you an e-mail clarifying a post on the Judgmental thread. You thought it was the infamous "guest" again, but it was me.  
But see, that is what N's do, they sew discord, set up confusion and are so busy distorting everything that is happening around them that it is hard for anyone to know what's true or what's untrue.
Can we all see it clearly now?  Think of a child growing up in this environment.  You don't know what to believe and who to believe.  Sure, your Mom might be great and honest and truthful, but you've got someone else there distorting, manipulating, twisting things around until you don't know whether you're coming or going.  As a child, who's "self" isn't fully matured yet, who can deny how damaging this is? We can't even shake it as adults.  (Well some of the brilliant ladies posting on this board have done a bang up job of ducking and dodging the crap being slung around).  Look, I can't say enough about this subject.
You're right on the money seeing the connection.
Do you know, I find I am now apprehensive about responding to anything written by a "Guest"???
You know how N's like to set you up by asking you a seemingly innocent question, for advice or help, or try to engage you in a heart-to-heart talk, only to wait until you're open and vulnerable and then really let you have it?
I'm now wary. So there you have it, the N's ability to cause you to not trust yourself or anyone else.  
Let's all hang in there and learn from what is happening here and in our lives.  We are moving forward, and that's a great thing.
Jac
--- End quote ---


Jac, the ony way to deal with an N is to abide by the "NO CONTACT" rule.  I guess that applies on boards as well.

Liz

Nic:
Ok..i'm not at my first N audit on this board or in my life for that matter.
So here goes,
Guest: I'm sorry you feel the way you do. Please continue to reflect, consider and ponder. Shields up...ignoring sequence commenced..
I'm out of this thread!
Ciao!
Nic  :wink:

Anonymous:
I wonder if being able to filter what people say without knowing who they are and why they say it is not a good trait to learn, especially for people who have found themselves in more than one dysfunctional relationship?
Because it doesn't matter what people look like or who they say they are, it's how they make you feel that counts, something that many of us who got involved with pds forgot or never knew. So many people say there were problems almost from day one, yet we chose to ignore them, or didn't see them.

I don't think its worth going from a position of trusting where no trust was earned to trusting no one though, every relationship or exchange begins from a position of trust and not everyone lets us down.

Also sometimes I have felt let down because I had unreal expectations of the person or situation.

I know the answers are in me somewhere, to grow stronger and to believe I deserve a pleasant life.

Anonymous:
Sometimes people might like to post as "guest" because the anonymity it affords allows them in sharing more of themselves that they might be hesitant to if their identity(albeit still anonymous to the *true* identity) was known.

If I wanted to say certain things I don't really want to be attached to my known identity, I might post as guest, and when I wanted to be involved in a thread where the dialogue will be ongoing, I could use a recognizable handle.

No big deal.  I really like the guest option of the board.

Someone mentioned that "guest" might be xN.   Well, it is no more likely than a logged in, made up name being xN as well.

I think all should post as they wish.   The guest option has been used responsibly for the most part(always exceptions) I can see, as well, in that there are not a flurry of regular abusive posts hiding behind the protection of "guest".

Cheers....

Anonymous:
I like the guest option on this site because all responses to guest's opinions are open to comments from all of the board. This is healthy.

No secret suggestions or comments to me as guest are possible through private messages, therefore it is for the guest an aspect of openess and seperatness which may be what is needed at this time in guests life. And if trust is eventually developed in entities here then this will likely change. Not at the moment though.

Also, there's no possibility for secret criticism's, needing to be emailed to management and adjudicated if you receive a private message telling uou off for speaking your honest opinion. And as guest there's no possiblilty of getting caught up in negative private message gossip about a particular poster who someone takes a dislike to and wants to enlist support.

Manipulative comments by posters, telling others to ignore this person because they're obviously an N, (basically forming a something similar to a medieval shunning party.) These comments have surfaced recently, and are published sometimes, but their influence is limited somewhat by a healthy number of guests. So I like the option of guest.

Guest

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