ST,
Thanks for your support. I got into this situation when the job I had at a major financial institution was eliminated in the reorganization process. My boss got axed as well. The company has been slowly downsizing for a couple of years, the sudden disappearance of co-workers from their desks was not a new phenomenon. The problem for me was that the compensation I received was inadequate to saving money. I was there for 7 years and my hourly wage went from $8.50 to $10.02. No lie. For 7 years overlapping that job, I also worked part-time at UPS. My hours were 7:45a-4:30p, then 6:00-10:00p at the second job, M-F. In that seven years I managed to get my twin girls out of High School and off to college, then their younger brother. The money I made JUST covered it all. In the process, I virtually missed my son growing up. I had only weekends with him, couldn't take him to Scouts, or any other event. (Non-existent father, paying minimal child-support). After suffering an emotional/physical breakdown in the fall of 2002, I decided it was time to quit working 60 hours per week. As my children had moved out, I had been able to find cheaper places to live. (I lived in Fort Wayne for 10 years and had 5 addresses). In Feb 2003 I quit UPS, I just couldn't do it anymore. There followed bankruptcy, and my son moving in with his girlfriend to allow me to get yet another cheaper apartment. In all those years, I spent absolutely every opportunity to seek out a better paying job.
NO DICE.
When the job-elimination came, I decided to move back to rural Illinois (where we had lived before Fort Wayne) to be closer to friends (family in Indiana having failed me--should have expected that). I didn't feel safe being alone in Fort Wayne anymore. Especially without a well-paying job. There are no benefits for anyone in that city who makes $1000 per month. If you make less, you can't even get an apartment that isn't in the worst part of town. I thought I should take my chances here. Well, we can see how that has panned out. I DO feel that being here without a job is the better of two evils, the other choice being in the city without a job or friends.
All of my adult life I have lived pay-check to pay-check, never making enough money to do better. I have 15 years of office experience, but no one wants to pay more than Entry-level unless you know every odd software program out there. (And have experience using it). And entry-level doesn't pay more than $8-$9 per hour. We're talking less than $300 per week. ??????????????????
I have been told my smarter people than me how intelligent I am. That feels really good, but if I can't make a decent living, what's the point????
I have an Associate's Degree plus 12 more credit hours toward a BA degree. I have not been able to choose what major I want, and now i have no opportunity to finish school if I COULD choose.
I'm getting older now, and I feel that my age is held against me. I'm still applying everywhere, but getting few bites.
So tired of the struggle, don't seem to see many options.
The local "employment" agency is merely a clearing-house for those who qualify for Unemployment Insurance. As far as helping one seek employment, they have a rack full of applications for every food joint in town, and a sheaf of stapled pages full of employment websites one can check out. There is no counseling, no assistance in looking for employers seeking workers. Pretty lame operation, that.
I'm trying to figure out how to get myself to McLean county, the Bloomington-Normal area. I'm applying where I can, I'm signed up with a temp agency there. Don't know what else to do. I can't afford to actually move there until I get a better paying job. Catch-22.
Most of my life feels like a Catch-22.
Sorry this is so long. I appreciate the support.
Thanks
~dragonsamm~
