A Good Gray Sunday

[Hopalong]

Just wanted to share that I think my attitude of gratitude is back.
I let go of my anxiety over whether my disability claim will be approved. It will or it won't and I'll find a solution either way. I am safe even when I tell myself I'm not. Good doors will still be opening. I am enormously grateful to have let go of the idea that I can spend 40 hours a week at a desk chair. It closes me in economically but frees me in every other way (I never had time for exercise other than frazzled short walks.)

I am very grateful for what I've learned this week on the board, and earlier. (Thanks, Jac and Storm, October, GS, Moon, Dazed, Brig...PP, RM, Portia, heck, everyone, and if I left you out that's because you were so pivotal I can't verbalize it yet!  .)
I am hugely excited about others understanding panic-paralysis-procrastination-perfectionism, etc.
I remembered that I can get my mother to walk better through praise than nagging.
I got through HER paperwork. (Not the filing, but the bills.)

Church was wonderful. Our cominister and UU Christian Fellowship led the service together. Four speakers, talking about how important and fulfilling it has been for them to re-integrate all they have loved in the Christian faith into their UU group ministry and how good it is to be in a place that doesn't "bash". Two gay men said likewise. They shared their sorrow that the marriage amendment passed but also their faith that the arc swings toward justice and meanwhile, they've found a welcoming community.

A nice teacher invited me for coffee and we had a great rambling chat.

I got hugs. I held a baby so sturdy he was like a bowling ball. Melt. Melt. Melt.

I heard from an old love and ... ? Nothing firm. But so nice to be told, I love you.

I love Y'ALL!

Gray and drizzly, it's beautiful out. A scudding cool front (I love the sky) and bright red leaves against brick and dark trees. Color is even more precious as things go gray.

I've lost a pound or two.

I bought Mom a book on Steve Irwin for her bday and I know she'll love it. She told me, "That man always made you feel as though he was your friend."

Hops

[dragonsamm]

Hops

How do I put this?

You are AWESOME. 

How's that??


I love your posts.  With the appearance of stream-of-consciousness thought, they make perfect sense amid the chaos.  I too love gray days--the contrasts are so apparent.

Good for your accomplishments/strengths/forward-movement.  May all your days hold such beauty.

You are a gem

 

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HOPS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

~dragonsamm~

[Hopalong]

 

Thank you, Dragonsamm.

Big smooshy hugs your way and a secret shot of happiness in your morning brew.

Hops

[WRITE]

All sounds wonderful.

Makes such a difference taking the stress away doesn't it.

 

[Hopalong]

Thanks, ((((Write)))).

(Mud's verse helped a lot too.)

Bless his bald head wherever he is...

Hops

[gratitude28]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hops)))))))))))))))))))))))

And how do you know Mr. Mud is bald??????? I don't remember reading that here, but I am a relative newcomer...

Love, Beth

[Hopalong]

Well, I think he's bald and puts mud packs on his head every Saturday in hopes of growing red hair and has a big moustache, and is tall, and likes to cook. And I'm sure he has a dog. Maybe a couple burros.

Ever the reality-based...

Hops

[October]

Just wanted to share that I think my attitude of gratitude is back.

Thanks for a lovely post, Hops.  What a great way to start the week, by reading your post. 

I rang mum today, and she said the usual, I tried to ring you over the weekend but your phone was busy. I know this is very unlikely to be true in the real world, although she believes it from the moment she says it, because she never ever rings anyone, and our phone was remarkably unbusy, but I just said, 'that's ok, I don't expect anything from you any more.'  That felt really good.   

My friend told me on Saturday, expect nothing, believe nothing and trust no-one.  Then whatever you get is a bonus, rather than never quite being enough.  I am trying to remember that, without losing my humanity, such as it is.

I am taking my dad to see my uncle, his brother, this afternoon, as it is his (uncle's) birthday.  Then I am going back to bed, where I have lived for most of the past week.  I have told d that I have a touch of flu, but suspect it is actually nervous exhaustion.  But flu is much better for her to understand, and it feels the same.  The only difference is, I can't give ne to everyone around me when visiting to say, happy birthday.  And that is a good thing to do, so it may well help.  A bit of mutual love and affection never did anyone any harm.   

So, enjoy the grey everyone, and also the bits of blue from time to time, showing through.  Which is what I have from my window.  A tree with very bright red and orange leaves, and a blue, white and grey sky.  Beautiful.   

[WRITE]

My friend told me on Saturday, expect nothing, believe nothing and trust no-one.  Then whatever you get is a bonus, rather than never quite being enough.  I am trying to remember that, without losing my humanity, such as it is.

I have a plaque: I do not expect anything of anyone then their expectations cannot clash with desires of mine ( something like that )

I do think it is important to trust people and trust life ( G_d/ universe ) though.

A bit of mutual love and affection never did anyone any harm.   

indeed it did not!

Which is what I have from my window.  A tree with very bright red and orange leaves, and a blue, white and grey sky.  Beautiful.   

Rober Frost wrote a poem about the tree at his window and all they shared:

Tree at my window, window tree,
My sash is lowered when night comes on;
But let there never be curtain drawn
Between you and me.
Vague dream-head lifted out of the ground,
And thing next most diffuse to cloud,
Not all your light tongues talking aloud
Could be profound.
But tree, I have seen you taken and tossed,
And if you have seen me when I slept,
You have seen me when I was taken and swept
And all but lost.
That day she put our heads together,
Fate had her imagination about her,
Your head so much concerned with outer,
Mine with inner, weather.

[October]

Rober Frost wrote a poem about the tree at his window and all they shared:

Tree at my window, window tree,
My sash is lowered when night comes on;
But let there never be curtain drawn
Between you and me.
Vague dream-head lifted out of the ground,
And thing next most diffuse to cloud,
Not all your light tongues talking aloud
Could be profound.
But tree, I have seen you taken and tossed,
And if you have seen me when I slept,
You have seen me when I was taken and swept
And all but lost.
That day she put our heads together,
Fate had her imagination about her,
Your head so much concerned with outer,
Mine with inner, weather.

Thank you for that poem, Write.  I love Robert Frost.