I'm glad you made the distinction between a true personality disorder and mere personality traits.
The short answer is no I don't think change is possible.However the long answer is, in those rare instances where someone has been made self aware enough, I believe they can modify their behavior somewhat. Usually not significantly and it is only behavior modification, not true change of the underlying pathology. If they are able to change significantly then its an open question whether they had a true disorer to begin with.
Far more common of course are those who are incapable of modifying their behavior any more than is necessary to stay out of jail or the morgue, although even those who cannot so restrain themselves outnumber those who can actually change their behavior enough to make it possible to live with them.
And the most common of all are undoubtedly those who feign repentance and pretend to change as a means to sucker their victims back for another round of bloodletting.
That said, I do believe in miracles, but find them to be few and far between.
Thanks, I think I agree, though I am ever hopeful too; yes, it does seem to be a rather difficult thing for Ns to achieve true empathy, though I think a lot of the problems are like any abusiveness: habits supported by cultural norms.
Narcissistic behaviour seems to be almost admired and encouraged....
My ex seems to be doing well but no way can he change the pattern of relating to me, his behaviour is different but he still doesn't hear or see me. I gave up ages ago that he would be able to. If he can work on the things which influence and affect our son that's the limit of my expectations and involvement.
I do like his intersting side to his personality though, and he's a lot kinder and more charming with others, so I daresay it won't be long before he attracts a new partner. Be interesting to see how that goes.
I'm hopeful, but cancer is nothing if not relentless.
I'll think of you in my prayers.
Hope is a source of infinite strength from a small spot within:
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
( Emily Dickinson )
Take care Mud.
