Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
DeCluttering: Inspiration, Success Stories, Tips
Gaining Strength:
I love flylady!! Though I haven't looked there in a couple of years.
October, I absolutely agree about the emotional connection.
I have been interested in this odd healing process based on accupuncture pressure points
called EFT. I read an article by an EFT practitioner who is a member of a national organizers
organization and she clearly saw emotional issues prominent in her clients.
Gaining Strength
gratitude28:
OCTOBER...
It was exactly the same in my house. My mother hoarded, my dad forced us to throw out everything. I still remember one move when he was so mean I just gave up and threw away things that meant something to me (granted, it was probably junk... but you know how kids are attached to some things for various reasons). For years I lived totally minimally. Not a single knick knack. No animals. No mess, no personal anything. It is only in the past three years that I have gained clutter. Now I fight with it... on one hand, it is the projects my kids and I do... on the other hand, I am dreadfully embarrassed to have any clutter. I am cleaning through all closets and drawers now... one or two a weekend. I think I am mostly balanced. Our house is small now, though, and I can never get everything quite right enough to feel secure. Things are better, though, lately, as I have been able to paint some, which means I am not too stressed out by it.
Thanks for letting me ramble. Thanks for the topic.
Love, Beth
SilverLining:
I must be schizoid, because I like collecting things, but I also like getting rid of them. It's fun to search, shop, compare, decide, learn about new things. But then having them around seems to quickly become more of an annoyance than a pleasure. So every so often I sift through and unload, which is just as much fun as acquiring in the first place. I don't have much of an attachment to the stuff. It's rare I ever miss anything I have gotten rid of.
This is in contrast to many others I know who seem to just keep loading up junk until the attic floor collapses. Many of my immediate relatives are the pack rat type. Every object is assigned special significance and so they have a reason to never let go of anything.
I like to believe I am following the middle way. :D Breath in, breath out. And I think about what JC said concerning attachment to worldly goods.
October:
--- Quote from: gratitude28 on December 07, 2006, 07:14:56 PM --- Now I fight with it... on one hand, it is the projects my kids and I do... on the other hand, I am dreadfully embarrassed to have any clutter. I am cleaning through all closets and drawers now... one or two a weekend. I think I am mostly balanced.
Love, Beth
--- End quote ---
Do you think that this balance is just a balance between mom and dad in your head, or is it actually you being happy with who you are, and the space you are in?
I am not meaning to create insecurity in you, but I think a lot of the time when I am cleaning my house, I am doing it because I think that the dad part in me will be happy because of it. And of course, he never is, because it is never clean enough to get a well done. Just as my brother was never satisfied with what I threw away before, because there were always things left.
One thing he insisted on throwing out was his old carrycot from when he was a baby. He made mum and dad throw it away, because he hates anything that reminds him of the past; his own past. The carrrycot was worth nothing, and would not meet safety standards today, so could not be used. But I still wish he had not thrown it away.
Some things are worth keeping. But if you keep everything, then you have nothing of value.
In terms of my Nmum, she knows the price of everything and the value of nothing, so she hoardes indiscriminately. This devalues everything. She has embroidery worked by my grandmother, long departed. And yet she will buy embroidered tablecloths at car boot sales, and store them together, so that nobody but her knows which are the heirlooms, and which are the tat. The only end result of this will be that ultimately all will be discarded together.
I think this is partly why the reaction against hoarders is to disconnect from every possession, and throw everything away. You cannot allow anything to have power over you, as possessions do over some people, and to prevent it you clean out too much. Maybe it is the equivalent of the alcoholic's spouse going teetotal, because it is the only thing left for them to do.
October:
--- Quote from: moonlight on December 08, 2006, 10:34:43 AM ---
But what do you do when you and your hubby can not throw anything out..................????????
--- End quote ---
I would try a 'pending' box. Put stuff in it, and anything you think of during the year, take out and use. Anything still there 12 months later, throw away. Or if 12 months is too short, then try 2 years, or three. Anything that works. :D Same with the wardrobe. If you haven't worn it in five years, throw it out. (Wedding dress excepted, of course!)
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