Laura,
I am so glad someone has said this. What you said about if any other person was treating you this way, would you take it, is exactly the way I have been feeling lately. Its a long story so I won't get into it, but I really struggled with that question for a long time with my sister and a little with my mom. When I talked to another person about it, she said "but its your family" and I really struggled with it...do I keep the relationship and try to work on it (meaning keep the relationship and when there is emotional manipulation, deal with it right then and there and confront that person), or do I let the relationship go?
I think that in my situation, I realize that there was alot of hurt in my sisters life as well as my mom's and that is why they are the way they are. So maybe I can show them the empathy and compassion they never got. I realize there is nothing I can do for them, and so I can change nothing, except myself. And when the emotional guilt trips and manipulation starts from them, to confront them in a compassionate and loving way, while also not taking it personally and not backing down.
I also agree with what Tremusan said, in each of us there is the hope that mommy will be the mommy we all deserve. Its hard to turn away from the hope that they will accept us and love us for who we are and then to go out on our own and become the confident person we deserve and want to be. I think our childhood affects us more than we realize and that there is a child in each of us yearning for the attention and love of our parents. And that is why it is hard to turn away from them.
Thanks for the thread!
-Lisa
