Advice on how to deal with Nmom and the selling of the business

[Overcomer]

Hi!!  Everyone.  Thanks for the words of encouragement about my daughter's friend.  SHE made a huge mistake that cost her her life.  I have been harping on my daughters about driving defensively and always watching...............don't text while driving, don't use your cell phone while driving, etc......................no loud music..........these teenagers don't have a clue.......maybe now they will.

Advice.  As most of you know, we are planning on selling our business.  I am a partner albeit a very small percentage.  My nmom has been in negotitation with a gentlemen and has left me totally out of any conversations.  I keep wondering what she is telling him and am afraid she may not do a very good job at it.  I feel out of control and it is making me a little bit anxious.  I have high hopes but then part of me thinks she will pull the rug out from underneath me and my world will go spinning.......................

What is it in me that needs to know what is going on??  I just hate the fact that she is keeping me in the dark.  I know it is a control thing with her and her lack of trust of me is what is keeping her from allowing me to be a part of it.......................

[Gaining Strength]

What is it in me that needs to know what is going on??

It is the wound and betrayal that you have already experienced at her hand.  It is nature that is telling you to "beware".

part of me thinks she will pull the rug out from underneath me and my world will go spinning.......................

Suppose she does pull the rug out from underneath you.  You can keep your world from going spinning out of control.  How would you do this?  Going through the process of answering this question will shine some light on some of your struggles and be very helpful even if she doesn't "pull the rug out from underneath you."  Think about it and dig deep.  It could help you alot.

I hope you find you are protected.  Can you ask her?  My N father doesn't allow such questions and my mother would simply change the subject or if pressed feign confusion or possibly make something up. 

You are nervous for good reason.  Now see if you can make a plan to protect yourself.

Your friend - Gaining Strength

[Kelly as guest]

Good News!!  Yes, I don't know what is going on with nmom but I applied for a job yesterday and it sounds GREAT!!!  So while she is doing what she needs to be doing without including me in the whole process (which I should be included in..........) I am out making sure that my life will go on despite what she does.  She can make plans FOR me (without my knowledge) and when I say "Oh, that is not what I had planned at all....................or if you had that in mind for me, you should have included me in the negotiations....................."  And politely tell her, "I have found another job........."  Regardless if we sell the business or not, I tol d her that after counseling we were at an impass and I couldn't work with her........................."

[Hopalong]

You sound great, Kelly.
You have become so much more clear and calm, almost as though you've released yourself from a self-built jail.

I am so impressed. What a long way in a short time!!!!!!

(Sending hopes for you for the job, too.)

Hugs,
Hops

[gratitude28]

How are things progressing, Kelly??????

[kelly as guest]

Well, haven't heard back from my job interview.......hopefully soon.  My nmom is talking with people but told me she is worried about my income.  I told her "don't you worry about me.....you just do whatever you need to do to sell this business.................unless of course you want to keep socking money into it................"

We'll see.  I don't think she wants to sell, but regardless of what transpires, I will leave when the right job comes along.  She should have seen this coming when the psychologist said............."I guess you are at an impass..................."  And that is exactly where we are.  She won't back off and let me run the business and I won't stay if she stays...............

[gratitude28]

Give me a "K"
Give me an "E"
Give me an "L"
Give me an "L"
Give me a "Y"

What's that spell?

SMART!!!!!!

Kisses,
Beth

[kelly as guest]

Thanks!!  I think I'm smart, too.  The only regret I have is I really DO like my job.  And I really COULD make a go of it (with bookkeeper and me........)  But SHE will not leave.  So I HAVE to leave.  She won't be able to do it.  She is such a !!!!!!!   !  She has the money to give me and make it so I wouldn't have to work but instead she'll put all that money into a failing business and she'll make it fail even farther until she is out of money and has to declare bankruptcy.  All that to have the final word and final say!!  (Well, that is worse case scenario...................but she could really walk away and tell me to do it and I could......................but she won't...................do you know how it feels to know that no matter what you do, it will NEVER be good enough for someone?  Or they won't ever give you the chance to succeed???  So I take away that power from her and walk away.................and get to grow like a butterfly out of a cocoon!

[kelly as guest]

Well things are progressing........kinda.  Mom put two men together to brain storm...............don't know if that will equal the sale of the business.................but I hope so!!!

Still no word from the job...............