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axa

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being blessed
« on: December 20, 2006, 08:06:52 AM »

Wow! what a day I have had.

i talked to my friend on the phone, chatting about this and that and I was overwhelmed suddenly and burst into tears.  The shock was that I was not sad/afraid, nothing negative.  I just felt so blessed.  I was talking to someone who loves me.  I have so many loving friends, I live in a most beautiful place, I feel so loved by the universe and held safely.

It is as if everything I need I have I just could not see it.  I have been looking and looking for love and I am surrounded by it.  I was looking in the wrong place.  This seems so simple now but boy could I not see what I have.  I feel full of life and joy.

When I was with XN I felt like the living dead.  I often used this phrase but was not sure what it meant.  Now I do.  I feel alive.  I have my energy back.  It is incredible the amount of life and energy and N can suck out of you.  I have so much head space.

I made a list last night which I am putting out on another thread and I feel excited.  There are so many things I WANT to do for me.  So many experiences I would like to have.  I am free now I can do what I want.  WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Got to do some housework now so need to find some loud happy music and dance around my house.


Hugs to all,

axa
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CB123

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Re: being blessed
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2006, 08:52:23 AM »
Good morning, Axa! 

I am so glad that you were the first person I saw this morning! 

You know how you dont have the uuumph to get yourself out of bed and past the expectations that this day will be hard?  That's me this morning.  But it helped to see the world through your eyes and know that it is good.

Today the sun will shine.

CB
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When they are older and telling their own children about their grandmother, they will be able to say that she stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way -- and it surely has not -- she adjusted her sails.  Elizabeth Edwards 2010

seasons

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Re: being blessed
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2006, 09:05:20 AM »
 Axa :D :D

I am so happy you found all the love that surrounds you, that was hidden but now found. I am dancing with you also, celebrating life for you.

You made my day too! Much love, seasons
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"Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the Rest to God."
Maya Angelou

axa

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Re: being blessed
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2006, 01:16:43 PM »
cb and seasons,

Thank you both.  I read Anthony de Mello a lot.  Especially his book Awareness and I find it incredibly inspiring.  I am glad that in some way my blessings contributed to a little lightness in your lives.


xxx

axa
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Sela

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Re: being blessed
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2006, 02:17:07 PM »
Hi Axa:

Quote
It is as if everything I need I have I just could not see it.


One of the hardest things for me is to take account of my blessings, especially if I am feeling down and life is not going the way I want it to.  It is so much easier to think of the good stuff and appreciate it, when my spirits are already up and I feel happy.  Listing my blessings, has saved me from a total downward spiral, sometimes too, when I was on my way there in the past.    Thinking about what is right and good in life has helped me reign in  hopeless, sad thinking sometimes too.  Not easy though.

Hey!  Maybe now would be a good time to write all of the blessings you are taking account of down, so you have a hard copy?  That way, if you ever need that list.....it'll be right handy!
 
Either way, so glad you are enjoying your life and taking measure of what's good, valuable and feels wonderful!! 

 :D Sela
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axa

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Re: being blessed
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2006, 06:55:17 PM »
Sela,

I think what is happening for me is that I am stopping WANTING.  I think that much of my pain comes from wanting rather than seeing.  Does that make sense?  I think it is good to have wishes or something like that but my happiness is not dependant on them.  I would like the trees I planted today to grow but if they dont I will still be happy........... something like that.  Maybe it is putting something out to the universe and then letting it go and trusting that what comes back is the right thing.


Still feeling happy and I have a clean house!

axa
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