Hi pennyyplant(from where did this handle come?)I wrote and wrote and lost it and I will likely not be able replicate it, but I will try! I thought I was doing well.
How odd that you were the only redhead and I was the only not redhead. Maybe we were switched at birth? But you aren’t 67!!
OMG there is another place I lost it….not here!What a sad story about the 90 year old mother who won’t see her daughter.
The disconnect, I believe, and won’t know until my daughter admits something, follows.
When she met the guy, an N, she was 19 and he was 30. I believe N because she changed and spoke to me in disrespectful terms, as did he. I was so confused that I didn’t see he had her under his control. (I didn’t know about N-ism then and I thought my daughter was following Princess Di and her New love Prince Charles, somewhat older and rich.)
However, along with his manner, the fact he arrived in a 10-yr old truck, had to buy new shoes to meet me….I was wary, but not aware. When, in a few months they announced they would be married the next June, I was distraught. She would have finished only one year of University and I had seen him only once., maybe twice.
There was something ‘defensive in her attitude” but I couldn’t get her to talk. When I suggested she wait, as if it were real love it would last, she barked at me, that she” loved him, was marrying him and if I didn’t like it I could stay away from the wedding”. (1984)
I was being dominated by him through her and it hurt me very much. I didn’t know what to do!
They married and she lived in isolation and poverty and had 2 children. I was always there for the children, one until he was 4½ and the girl until her 2nd birthday.
Lordy how I loved them, and that was the day he told me I was no longer welcome on his property. May 11,1991. Happy Mother’s Day !!
I feel that she cannot admit to me that I was right in the first place, and she left him in 1994, divorced in 1996, while he owed me $55,000.00, all loaned for the sake of my daughter and grandchildren.
Then I sued him for the money. It’s all repaid now, but first child, grandson, now 20 lives with Dad and is as much an N as his father. How disappointing. I asked daughter once how she would feel if one of her children turned against her and she said
it would never happen. It did! Daughter has the other 2. I never knew the youngest as he was born after I was cut out! 14 now.
The reason I have the pic of the 17 year old is that there was a wedding and a sister took a picture and sent to me. I knew my daughter worked part time and went to university part time. It took her 5 years and she is now a mid-wife, owns her own home and I guess all is well, but I don’t hear much via email. Have no idea about the g’kids let alone her.
I feel I just have to dismiss them from my life as this disconnect cannot be rectified. Not from my point of view
Love
Izzy
