Hi All,
Courtesy of Stormchild, I have discovered Dr. Irene's web site (thanks, Storm). Dr. Irene discusses abusive relationships. It's a great web site.
I found one particular story there very validating. A woman, who left her abusive husband, posts that she is having second thoughts about leaving and wonders "what if the abuser could change?". Dr. Irene and others post their comments on her dilemma.
I found these posts helpful because the woman demonstrates the thought process of a victim trying to break free, along with Dr. Irene's wise counsel.
The woman's original post is at
http://drirene.com/what-if-he-change.htm and the comments are at
http://drirene.com/forms/comments_what-if-he-change.htmHere’s some excerpts:
Woman: I felt like my opinions didn’t count.
Dr. Irene: They don't. It's about power and control.
Woman: After all, it wasn’t as if he beat me on a daily basis
Dr. Irene: That's the biggest problem with emotional abuse. The broken psyche is not obvious.
Woman: And so the inner dialogue continues….. His behavior and my experience of it, certainly wasn’t as bad as many of the stories I have read.
Dr. Irene: Your story is one of abuse: control and power. Don't fool yourself. And if you are still lapsing into those spaces, get yourself a therapist now. You are too used to being treated poorly to recognize it.
dazed
