Gary Zukov

[Gaining Strength]

Yesterday I took my son to his basketball practise.  One of the mothers was reading, Gary Zukov's "Care of the Soul".  I read it years ago and we talked about it briefly.  This afternoon, I turned on the TV and caught the end of Oprah who had Gary Zukov on talking about marriage.  (Anyone who has been in relationship with an N might want to see what he was saying.  you can catch it on Oprah's site or Zukov's site.)

I went to Zukov's site and read just a little that I really wanted to share.  It's a well phrase point that many of us have made often.

Every painful event provides OPPORTUNITIES to learn from your experiences or to react to them – to create as you have in the past or to create differently – and your experiences continue from your birth until your death. All of them are OPPORTUNITIES for you to learn about YOURSELF, about your fear and about your love. Even as you watch the painful experiences of others you are given opportunities to watch yourself as well, to observe and learn about yourself and change yourself.

All of your experiences give you OPPORTUNITIES to discover how you are creating and how you can create differently if you choose. Every adversity offers this OPPORTUNITY – to lapse into victim or become a creator. The potential to shift from victim to creator is very great when we hurt as much as we do in times of sorrow, loss, and despair – a treasure offered to those who are willing to work for it.

[Dazed1]

GS,

I love these quotes, thank you for posting them.  It's uplifting to know that pain is an opportunity for positive growth.  I want to repeat that to myself everyday.  GS:  You've given me my second mantra!!  (((((((((Thank you)))))))))))

So funny you posted about Zukov on Oprah today.  I recorded it.  Great show.  I took some notes on what Zukov said (paraphrased):

In order to create a constructive (as opposed to a destructive) life, we must come to terms with the parts of ourselves that frighten us the most and then replace those parts with loving intensions

Beneath our anger is pain and beneath our pain is fear and what we fear is that we are inadequate, powerless and incapable of loving or being loved; we fear rejection

When people lash out at you, it is because they are afraid and therefore, they are in pain.  Angry people are frightened

We must become aware of our emotions so that we can realize what parts of our personality frighten us 

When you want to hurt someone, your intention is to upset them, but then the effect (ie: they become angry) comes back at you, so they wind up hurting you.  So, when you have an intention to hurt someone, they get angry at you and wind up hurting you.  Thus, your intention to hurt others winds up hurting you.  So, we must learn the lesson that we create our own painful experiences:  our intention to hurt someone winds up hurting us.

You must consciously look at your unconsciousness.

In a relationship, if you want to grow spiritually, but your partner doesn't, then the relationship can't grow spiritually and you must decide whether you want to stay with that partner

Thanks for EVERYTHING ((((((((((((GS)))))))

dazed

[Gaining Strength]

Thanks for paraphrasing part of the show.  I really get this: You must consciously look at your unconsciousness. I am definitely trying to do this but figuring out how to bring the unconscious to the forefront is difficult.  Before I go to sleep I pray for the parts that need healing to be revealed.  When I am consistent with this over time something will come to the surface like a long buried splinter working its way up.

I think that is what yesterday's experience at my prayer meeting was about - once again bringing up that deep pain that I have about not getting praise or accolades as a child and instead getting criticized for TRYING to draw attention to myself.  I do finally realize that this has to do with the sabotage from my father and mother because they felt threatened.  But I am a little lost about what to do with this understanding.  Maybe I should actively talk to that hurt and find affirmations to overcome them and work those affirmation for a specific and lengthy period.  I think I'll try that. - GS

[Hopalong]

Hi GS,
Boy you really are chugging along and sounding so much more powerful, so much less victimized.
I'm not posting as lenthily as usual but I am inspired as ever by the strength of your focus. Thanks!

Wanted to respond to your post by suggesting the same book Portia found...

The Wisdom of Your Subconscious Mind

It was originally published (I first wrote posted  ) in the late 70s.

You could probably find it used on Amazon?

Anyway, I think it may go directly to the needs you have and the way you do your inner work.

love,
Hops

[Gaining Strength]

Great!  Thanks for the book suggestion, Hops.  I will definitely check into it.  I really do find that I am getting the upper hand on the fear and all her subcatagories that have paralyzed my and bound me in "victimhood".  I feel strongly that today I really made a cross over to the shores of authentic power.  I will use my strengths to shake off the residuals from that old scairdy cat.  Working patiently and determinedly toward a strong person, in charge of myself.  Sure do love the encouragement.  I couldn't have done it with out it.  - GS